I'm trying
Though the way your eyes sear through me
as If you know that my baggy sweatshirt and
torn blue jeans are all tributes to my
insecurities.
Screaming
'Don't believe in me
I will only let you down'
Your proud demeanor shows through when
you peer down your nose at my trivial
attempts at success. Brushing my hair,
only for you to call it oily and trying my
best so you can gaze past me and whisper.
'You can do better.'
I gave you my all,
you gave nothing back.
You like to pretend I'm something to
be proud of. Laughing along with your
friends jokes feeding them lies you
intend to justify by changing me to
fit them.
because I'm still not
perfect.
Sometimes I feel like I’m chasing my reflection
As you walk casually through your field
Of flowers, caressing the roses petals.
Though all I see is metal, biting into my
Skin and my shadow grabbing my thin
Ankles and pulling me to the ground
To begin again.
Because. I‘m. Not. Good. Enough.
I’m sorry I hold you back.
Pressing my imperfections on your
Resume. Perhaps that’s why you feel the
Need to justify my existence.
Because I was a mistake.
I’m the issue here aren’t I?
I don’t fit into your dollhouse mold
Of the woman you hoped I would become.
And though you refuse to say it openly
For your reputations sake, Every dart of your
Eye, every uncertain twitch of your mouth
Spells out what you truly believe,
I am just a failure to you.
I’m sorry I’m human.
Author notes
catseye
one of the more personal things I have written.
sorry if it doesn't fit it sort of took a mind of its own
once I started writing.
A contest entry
- Titles and Options OH MY! by badnovocaine.
900 points, ended November 18, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
criticm welcome.
Comments
-
92%
"Sometimes I feel like I’m chasing my reflection" <-- hit me hard, for some reason. I think my heart stopped when I read that, literally. Wow.
And the last line really packed a punch. Apologising for being human... that just... wow.
I don't have words
This was really, really, really good.
-
"Laughing along with your
friends jokes feeding them lies you
intend to just by changing me to
fit them."
Did you mean, 'feeding them lies you intend to justify by changing me to fit them' ?
"Sometimes I feel like I’m chasing my reflection"
^ beautiful
The final stanza and the final line brought tears to my eyes.
They are so sad.
I hope you don't feel like that too often, if ever.
I think this poem is pure beauty.
WELL WELL deserved trophy
Shelly
x
-
holy god.
that is brutal and completely, and utterfly, and just straight up probabley the best poem i have read in my life.
really spoke to me.
[made me feel like a douche.]
nice poem
-
I’m the issue here aren’t I?
I don’t fit into your dollhouse mold
Of the woman you hoped I would become.
-------------------------------
Aw.. I know how that feels, sometimes people can be so stereotypical. and that's mean. I don't think it matters if it doesn't fit, because titles can be taken very many ways, depends on what you think it means.. that's why I like titles because you can interpret them in many ways.
Anyways on to the poem, I think you did very good, and it shows how people can be so judgmental sometimes. Then, I liked the ending also because you showed that we, after all are only human, not some barbie doll.
Its a powerful message and thank you for entering this in the contest, I enjoyed reading it.
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