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poetry

tip the pen to the paper and glide,
slow fluid strokes
create the dance
of my hearts words.
each curl and line
a note from my song,
flowing out in dark color
to stain the pure snow.
graceful as a ballerina,
piroettes of pure emotion.

my artistic form for all to see.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

  • Francis Vincent
    November 18, 2008

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    good job

    i always enjoy a poem about poetry
    since it is a personal experience to write
    it lets the reader gather info, if you may, from the creator
    the act of putting pen to paper
    chronicalling your thoughts
    thru inspiration and imagination
    the beauty of it all
    i don't usually try to improve or change a piece
    it's your work
    but
    "....to stain the pure snow....'
    something negative about that
    "...to embroider the snow"
    what is a poem
    but a mosaic of your imagination
    if you will

  • Side Salad
    November 17, 2008
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    A good piece - hearts should be heart's - I like the length - it suits the piece - I would have chosen a different title - you had some lovely words and phrases in the piece and I would have chosen one of those.

    Good piece to read.


  • FaerieNWonderland
    November 17, 2008
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    wow a very good piece . i think you captured the art of writing poetry very well. and also this was beautifully writtem. i really enjoyed reading every word. thank you so much for sharing.


  • FollowingFate
    November 17, 2008

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    haha, you're name is jessica too. lol. So anyways, I liked your poem. It makes sense. Although, poetry, for me, is also about putting emotion to paper. You related it to a dance of emotion. I liked that. I never really thought of it that way, and you put out a different perspective, which is nice. Great job.

    -Jessica

    P.S.- I feel that there is nothing to revise. I especially like the last line. It's a good closer.