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Gate of Hell, canto 3

"Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate" (3.9)
Leave behind all hope, you who enter



Gate of Hell, canto 3


Before the river Acheron I wait   *1
And stand within the threshold of my hell,
For I have stepped within the evil gate,

To where one bids mortality farewell.
I’m greeted by the lost angelic four   *2
And told I must decide where I should dwell.

‘Twas providence that lead me through this door,
For I was neither warm nor was I cold.  *3
Those scriptures I had chosen to ignore

And now I’m watching prophesy unfold.
As Charon grins approaching in his boat,  *4
I feel the darkness closing in so cold,

An ambiance of fear that is remote.
I watch him anchor terror with his rope.
Revulsion swelling deep within my throat,

I doubt my living soul will ever cope
And wonder if redemption is too late.
I’m now resigned to torment without hope...

 

 

 

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Author notes

Like Dante’s epic, this poem is penned in a Terza Rima in English instead of Italian. A mathematical consequence of this pattern is that the number of lines in any given canto is always a multiple of three with one left over to start the next. I solved the conclusion by making it a stand alone sentence.

Footnotes:
*1: a marginal place--inside the gate of hell but before the river Acheron--for souls neither good enough for heaven nor evil enough for hell proper is a product of Dante's imagination, pure and simple.

*2: Included among these cowardly souls--also known as fence-sitters, wafflers, opportunists, and neutrals--are the angels who refused to choose between God and Lucifer.

*3: (Revelation) 3:16: "But because thou art lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I will begin to vomit   thee out of my mouth."

*4: Charon is the pilot of a boat that transports shades of the dead--newly arrived from the world above--across the waters into the lower world.

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Comments

1 - 44 of 44

  • awannabepoet
    August 28

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    Dante, would be proud but being an Italian he would probably also being gesturing like a mad man screaming and hollaring so to speak.

    What would he say, I do not know but I do so like your condensed version of his divine comedy.


  • Dark Otter
    April 2

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    I had to check it out!

    I love terza rima and Dante. Plus, I like your work. I see what you have done and commend you for emulating the masters of the past. I bow to you!


    • Amera gold member
      April 2
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      Thank you so much! Coming from the King of the dark genre, I consider this a real complement.


  • white stone
    April 1
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    Congrats on the bronze!


  • Night Terrors
    April 1

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    I have read Dante's Devine Comedy. I really liked this poem. It was very clever. I really love this. I am going to add you to the finalist. Thanks so much for entering.


  • poet of justice
    November 24, 2008
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    nice poem

    with sum deep thoughts and insides to the soul


  • Cup-a-Joe
    November 24, 2008

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    Im glad this is not in Italian, cause I don't understand Italian. lol
    Very nice poem pretty lady.
    Joe


  • bigperm
    November 22, 2008

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    The experience of this sweet life.


    "L'esperienza de questa dolce vita."
    Dante Alighieri (1265 - 1321), The Divine Comedy

    love your twist on such a classic. It's been a pleasure to read such a well thought out and well crafted piece.


  • melphleg gold member
    November 21, 2008
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    What happened? You won bronze but it now appears to be removed from the contest?


    • Amera gold member
      November 21, 2008
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      I removed my poem because I don’t want my work rated under “poems” that are so poorly written. The two winners were structurally bizarre, poorly punctuated and grammatically incorrect. I realize that poetry is subjective, I simply misjudged the judge.

      • melphleg gold member
        November 21, 2008
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        Well at least he had intelligence enough to rate yours above mine.


  • Victory Gin silver member
    November 21, 2008

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    I loved that this poem went with Terza Rima. The form is rendered quite magnificently and the footnotes set it off with a scholarly air. Brownie points for that. I'm not sure the poem is convincing as a "personal document" even though you followed the guidelines pretty darned well; the ending kind of drops and seems unresolved and at the end I still don't know what the "hell" is beyond the symbols. Nonetheless, it is a fine piece of writing. Thank you for entering.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    November 20, 2008

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    I can see why you directed me here, Sis; this is a fascinating piece of work, and fits the prompt and subject matter very well. Very well-constructed indeed.

    I have a suggestion. If you end with an ellipsis, you may create the effect of making the final line refer back to the initial line, in a kind of loop, thereby keeping the structure of the Terza Rima going. What do you think? No constraint - it's your baby!

    Commendable stuff! Three fence-sitting bunnies (the fourth fell in the Lethe, and as a result can't remember what he's supposed to be doing).


    • Amera gold member
      November 20, 2008
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      I like it! Thank you so much! I'll do it.


  • Skybow silver member
    November 19, 2008

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    Good lord you have a fan club for this write and rightfully so my friend. It is all the wonderful things already said. The only thing I can add to these laurels is that it is a very smooth flowing story.

    It unfolds like a beautiful dark flower, yet it doesn't sound a hellish hopeless note. More like a somber resignation to fate.

    Wonderful, Amera, it is one of your best poems!!!


  • Faeryn
    November 19, 2008

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    Wow!! Amazing! This is definitly one of my favorite poems from you. You did an amazing job on this one, Amera, I love it! I've read it 3 or 4 times and each time I read it, it gets better.
    Love,
    Tay


  • Desire gold member
    November 19, 2008

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    Magnificent~

    Oh My You have outdone Yourself with this Beauty
    I read this several times and Love how You presented this~
    Much for the Mind to visualize- and the notes in the AC- Thank You
    Tight form as well~
    Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
    Best wishes in the contest too
    with much love & light~ Desire~*~

  • Angelshadow
    November 19, 2008

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    Good write! I could tell you worked hard on this.
    Thanks for sharing with us


  • urapns66
    November 19, 2008

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    awesome write!
    "To where one bids mortality farewell.
    I’m greeted by the lost angelic four *2
    And told I must decide where I should dwell."
    this was definitely my favorite stanza!
    great write very creepy lol but in a good way it makes you feel like your there. I like it! keep up the good work!


  • Amergin
    November 18, 2008

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    I have always loved Dante's Inferno for obvious reasons, and I love your unique view of his amazing epic. Nice work.


  • nordicsky silver member
    November 18, 2008

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    I have read this repeatedly and it just keeps getting better. I like the way you have taken Dante’s amazing epic and given it your own personal twist through some wonderful first person story telling.
    There is a delicious dark feel to this poem, a kind of loss of hope, which I guess is what this (mythical?) place is all about.

    Thanks for posting such an interesting and thought provoking poem. I am now going to research Dante and his “Divine Comedy”

    Regards, Peter


  • chilali
    November 18, 2008

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    Wow! I am so glad I stopped by your page and read this. This is just incredible. I love fantasy! And you have done an amazing job with this piece. Wonderful work. Good luck in the contest. This is definitely GOLD!


  • Titus gold member
    November 18, 2008

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    This is most probably, one of the most fasinating pieces on this site, and should be most credited with an Italian translation.

    Porta di Inferno, Canto 3


    Prima che il fiume Acheronte I attendere * 1
    E stand entro la soglia del mio inferno,
    Per ho intensificato entro il male cancello,

    Per le offerte nel caso in cui una mortalità addio.
    Ho salutato dalla perso quattro angelico * 2
    E ho detto deve decidere dove vorrei soffermarmi.

    Era provvidenza che mi inducono attraverso questa porta,

    Le Scritture avevo scelto di ignorare

    E ora sto guardando profezia evolversi della situazione.
    Come Charon Grins avvicinando nella sua barca, * 4
    Mi sento le tenebre di chiusura in modo freddo,

    Un atmosfera di paura che; remoto.
    Io guardo lui ancorare il terrore con la sua corda.
    Repulsione gonfiore entro la mia profonda gola,

    Dubito che la mia anima vivente potr; mai far fronte
    E mi chiedo se il rimborso; troppo tardi.
    Sono ormai rassegnati al tormento senza speranza.

    Very well done, on a very dramatic piece of written material.

    Sir William Blakespeare. - Anthony sends all his best wishes, and can be found at allpoetry.com/Titus


    • Amera gold member
      November 18, 2008
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      Thank you so much! I was going to write it in Italian but I was afraid it would be too much for AllPoetry. Amo la vostra traduzione.

      Love,
      Amera


  • Elfin
    November 18, 2008

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    Wow Amera this is wonderful. I will have to look deeper into this form, I love its flow and your content makes it all the more inviting. Well done my dear friend its magic straight from fairyland. Val


  • FaerieNWonderland
    November 18, 2008

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    i really love this piece. its so beautiful and dark and very beautifully written. you have such talent and thank you so much for sharing your work.


  • Swangrnv gold member
    November 18, 2008

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    Gosh!!

    excellent, and dark..Loved every bit of it!! you are an exceptional storyteller and your rhyme and flow is absolutely flawless!! p.s. loved the author's notes too!!


  • artis
    November 18, 2008
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    Absoul-lutely fantastic.

    are there bunnies in hell...perhaps only playboy bunnies, after all the devil has taste.


  • artis
    November 18, 2008

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    what a bleak picture you paint in the foyer of hell's domain, where one must decide eternities damnation, prodded perhaps by the pitchforks of tormenters awaiting an entrance.

    surely such a choice would rip the very soul from the condemned and send it screaming without regard into thepunishment that awaits, in a hopelsss acceptance of the accomadations provided. superlative,write...WOW!!!lol~~Artis


  • lovesky
    November 18, 2008
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    A wonderfully briliant write , I loved it !

  • Cup-a-Joe
    November 18, 2008
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    Uh Jeff took my words away... What he said.
    Joe


  • nordicsky silver member
    November 18, 2008
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    You hit me with this first thing in the morning before I rushed off to Spanish class and thence to work.
    It rocked my imagination and woke up my mind.

    I will read this a few times and report back.

    You are brilliant!


  • Victory Gin silver member
    November 17, 2008
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    I usually don't comment on poems before the competition closes but for this I can make an exception. Really good and great presentation... I'll comment more thoroughly when the contest ends.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    November 17, 2008

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    Miss Saint

    Well good thing you earned your Saint-hood today. Keeps you from being a waffler.
    Only perfection


  • Swan song gold member
    November 17, 2008
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    nothing less than stunning and haunting at the same time! This is a tremendous write Bravo!


  • blueyez
    November 17, 2008

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    This is so well penned!!! Darkly beautiful!!! Your wrods here remind me of the poets of long ago. Such eloquence flows from the ink in your pen! You amaze me with every read!
    Peace and Love


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    November 17, 2008

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    Holy crap!! You are amazing sis! I bow to your talent

    Love this!! The dark content, the form, the references you've made... wow!

    • Amera gold member
      November 17, 2008
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      LOL, I love your comments Sis; you're so good for my ego


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 17, 2008

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    i see why you were given that nick name you told me about, it fits you royally, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • Alyzeh
    November 17, 2008

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    Wow. Your writes are amazing! I'm loving your work Amera. Brilliant.


  • Ryan79
    November 17, 2008

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    Wow. You really seem to know about Dantes inferno and the beliefs about hell. You included the christian and the ancient Greek interpretations of hell and hades in it. It's a very riveting peice and the way you described it make me feel as if I am watching it all happen.


  • melphleg gold member
    November 17, 2008

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    Your knowledge and talent never cease to amaze me. I thought of Dante's Infernal as I read and my hunch was confirmed by your notes.
    Amazing write, my beautiful friend.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    November 17, 2008

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    Dark and perfectly formed traditional Terza Rima, the perfect rhyming is enhanced by the subtle linking of near rhymes between two sets of three near end which seems to slow the pace beautifully, the meter is as good as one expects and the darkness is quite delicious.


  • StarEyes
    November 17, 2008

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    Ok, Miss Form Queen,

    Here you go putting me to shame again! This is amazing! I love it! It is truly wonderful and quite deep! You are amazing Sis...

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Nyetta

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