Mama where are you

Mama where are you
I look for you every nite beyond the stars
As I cry everyday I call your name
you are not here and things are not the same
you, my mama, my best friend all my life
I don't know what to do anymore without your advice
I have not been the same since the day that you left
a part of me went with you is what most guess
Everyday I cry and call your name
as I lay in my bed not being able to do anything but be depressed
our cassie girl is in trouble mama, can you see
can you give me a sign, help me to know what to do, can you help me
Our sweet little girl is in such pain and confusion
she is scarring her arms with razor blades
knowing she was recently almost lost to us is more than my heart can take
I can read between the lines and from where it comes
when all her life in her own home she felt like an intrusion
we both knew this day would come when the anger would show its' face
but having me in her  life we though would be a diffusion
instead from her life I have been made to be a disgrace
I cant' make her believe me that it is mostly delusion
so at his time her, I can not embrace
she doesn not realize what she has been told is from someone elses' illusions
blaming an other for your mistakes is easier than your own truth
we have discussed this at lenght, me and you
well the day is now here and our girl has to live thru someones' anger
she is blaming herself for not being a good enough daughter
when in truth she was pushed, always in the way
to me, who was more than happy to have her, anytime, any day
with me she was happy, a child full of play
I now understand more why she never wanted to go home
and I am feeling so guilty, I should have just let her live with me
not just in summer and weekends,  but always, as she wanted it to be
I thought it was right for her to be with her family sometimes
I was wrong it seems, it would have been better for her to be an absentee
This I remember you once telling me
to keep her away from being ignored
from all the fighting and anger, the drugs and the crime
to keep her close to me where she was adored
it got harder and harder as she got older
school activities and friends
drop us there pick us up here
she wanted sleep overs' as all young girls do
which was almost impossible in my house so small
with giggling girls in the livingroom
when papa had to sleep as he was on call
I think she picked an arguement with me that one day
it was her way of getting away
telling a few stories that were not true
thinking back now I think she was already experimenting
with the cutting, and being here she knew she could not hide it from me
with her of everything I was always aware
So here we are Mama and I dont' know what to do
please come to me mama I so so need you