If I never knew you,
Those unsure years of credulity would still be mine.
Hush grass, you burn my eyes and blind me.
Hush dirt, you're choking me.
Hush clothes, don't shriek as he tears you from my frail body.
Be silent blood, you're rushing down my tiny legs too fast.
Tell no one of what you've seen.
If I never knew you,
My dreams would never prove lethal.
My heart would never cease to beat.
My head would never swim as I try to tell solid memories from just a nightmare.
My breath would never have been stolen by your ghost as I float in unconcious existance.
Hush dreams, tell no one of the coward I have become.
If I never knew you,
I would never find myself a rage against the good light.
I would not have been the black against the white,
The weed in a field of flowers,
The rain distorted by the rainbow.
Hush melancholy, tell no one of the atrocity I have become.
If I never knew you,
My smile would never be a product of forced labor.
My happiness would never have been owned by those around me ,
And my eyes would never be wells for strangers to gaze into, and decipher.
Hush my sweet facade, tell no one of the open book I have become.
If I never knew you,
I'd be safe, but half as real.
Hush Caitlin, tell no one of the tarnished grace you are.
Author notes
Free verse.
May my anguished cries keep your warm in your days to come.
Comments
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I read pain and anguish here, but also a triumph, as if strength has been gained from confrontation.
'I'd be safe, but half as real.' is the most telling line, for me.
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If I never knew you,
I would never find myself a rage against the good light.
I would not have been the black against the white,
The weed in a field of flowers,
The rain distorted by the rainbow.
Hush melancholy, tell no one of the atrocity I have become.
This is beautiful in its fraility and darkness. In a personal view this almost seems to be a cry of triumph, did it mean to be read that way? It read as if to say "my scars are beautiful" I can not seem to come up with a better way to describe my emotion while reading this other than simply awesome.
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