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Dancing in the Shadows

Dancing in the shadows
Searching for the light,

The youthfulness of spring long past,
Summer now a distant haze.

 

Time has passed with uneasy haste,
Adolescent kids become grown men,

But through the passing of time 
A new day will begin.

 

As we turn the pages of life  

Further chapters will unfold,

Winter sun's reflection dispels 

The fear of growing old.

 

 

Author notes

harriet567

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • lovlilmystery
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    Love the way you have painted a picture, with word of man growing old. This is a beautiful, short poem. Good luck in the contest. Take care and have a great day.

    Sandi


  • Antebellum
    July 10

    Edit | Reply
    '

    Time has passed with uneasy haste,
    Adolescent kids become grown men,

    But through the passing of time
    Another day will begin.
    '



    I love this stanza.thanks for sharing such a wonderful write..

  • Theasp
    May 20
    Edit | Reply
    forgot applause!

  • Theasp
    May 20
    Edit | Reply

    A greeting card to be sure.

    Very refined. Sorry, i was ill and able to judge.

    • harriet567
      May 20
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for your comment and applause. Hope you are feeling better.


  • etoile
    April 13

    Edit | Reply
    this is a great piece of poetry. I like the message that youre sending through with this.
    there's some great imagery in this.

    goodluck and thanks for entering

    • harriet567
      April 15
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for your lovely comments and the contest. Congrats to the winners!


  • tears.of.silence
    April 5

    Edit | Reply
    I have to say this poem had me thinking hmm the whole time. that's a good thing. I like this a lot you've got three poems so your points will be divided. You have received 30 points for this poem. Thank you for entering the contest and the best of luck to. Kahy


  • Umi Juvariel
    March 25

    Edit | Reply
    This reminded me of a watercolor portrait, swirled, blurry, but still understandable. This was beautiful, and the rhyme was pleasant. Excellent work and good luck in my contest!

  • Imaspoeticasitseems
    February 22

    Edit | Reply

    good

    It gives a simple imagery but it is very affective and like the way you describe time within the poem.


  • nobodys-girl
    January 17

    Edit | Reply
    this is a wonderful poem! i absolutly loved reading it! thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!


  • Mythtress
    January 5

    Edit | Reply
    As a woman of almost 50 summers... I love, love, LOVE the last two lines. I find the older I get, the more I enjoy life, and the faster it goes. I'll be pushing up daisies before I know it! Sigh. Excellent write.

    Write on, poet.

    Blessings,
    Myth


  • JinSays gold member
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Winter sun's reflection dispels

    The fear of growing old.


    I think you've captured the feeling of this write perfectly.
    I love the softness of the last two lines, very very nice.
    I wish you all the best in this competition, and thank you for entering my contest,
    Love,
    Jin

    • harriet567
      November 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Thanks for your lovely comment. Sorry to hear you are sick - hope you will soon be much better. Love and prayers, Harriet

1 - 17 of 17