A muse on a harp,
stirring the pools of tears
from my entranced heart.
Give me the life
I once led,
before my dreams were overturned.
The dawn arises,
but from the wrong side of the horizon.
A rhythm of ungodly purpose,
confines, and amazes,
my black soul.
What did you think
Comments
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I like this alot the begining is a strong image. The only thing is it switches perspectives. Maybe something more like:
Oh muse of harp stirring pools of my tears
give me the life I once led....
Its clear you are speaking to the muse, but the first stanza doesnt make it seem so if that makes sense. Other than that this is lovely and very good



