Pierrot in vain holds dignity
About him clockwise, fold on fold,
As Columbine smiles prettily;
In his grey mask of tragedy,
Adorned with grease-paint, as of old,
Pierrot in vain holds dignity.
What use to bargain wearily,
With rouge against a doom foretold,
As Columbine smiles prettily?
Though quipping jests incessantly,
His mouth set in a mournful mold,
Pierrot in vain holds dignity.
His heart-strings twitch; and timidly
His spent hand waxes overbold
As Columbine smiles prettily.
Her laughter, pealing silverly,
Leaves Harlequin threadbare and cold:
Pierrot in vain holds dignity
As Columbine smiles prettily
.
Author notes
if you want me to change that indent, i will.
my first shot at any kind of writing like this in a full poem.
i am a virgin villanelle (ist) 
A contest entry
- The Great Villanelle by Victory Gin.
3150 points, ended November 21, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Hi, this is wonderful wish I had had this idea, kind regards Di


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Congratulations on the trophy! This is a good villanelle, and for your first attempt you can be proud of this achievement.
The voice is more restrained than usual, and there is a sad dignity to the age-old story. Very well done!

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This had to be one of the more intriguing entries in the contest and I was very excited that the person who wrote this is a Villanelle Virgin. The author of this piece must have incredible talent; aside from the metrical problem in the second refrain where "Columbine smiles" sticks, the poem is very, very good with incredible poetic content. I felt like I was front stage in some backyard Bohemian Theater and held in thrall the whole time. I'm not sure how you would fix the problem in the refrain considering its sense is critical but it might be worth the effort to try. Outstanding poetry.


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Beautiful poetry!


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Well done
It's not an easy thing to do, to tell a story when those same lines keep recurring, but you handled it very well. The rhymes you chose have enough variants that you could pick the best. Cheers!

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well done heidi..i've only written one villanelle..now i call them villanhelles.. love it thoroughly


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Well done
especially for a first. These are anything but easy, and you rose quite well to the big challenge.

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This is lovely. I have never written a villanelle myself but although i write mostly free verse I simply adore this poetry form. I think it will work better without the indent, but that is just my humble opinion!

~ Nicolette


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Well you lost your virginity with grace and dignity, that's for damn sure. Beautifully done. So original
and it flowed perfectly. I loved it.

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hahahahahahaha
You popped your own cherry
Excellent write as always
Good luck in the contest Heidi
Ken

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i think this is so fitting right now for you and for your friend who passed. it expresses the sadness and the way we smile with dignity and quietude!
it's a bloody good villanelle darlin' girl...


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I think you broke the virginal mold well and truly, not that i am an expert but it read very well to me


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I like it, yes, I do.


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aww...perfect title for this....for Pierrot imagery & feeling...
i just read the story of them...this is excellent, Heidi! i'm not really knowledgeable on villanelles, but enjoyed reading this a lot


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look at what happened
in the old medieval tower-clock
virgin villanelle-ist got her cherry
popped
by hammering marionettes


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i like it


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