Every Day

You're loving, endearing,
And every word's appealing
As you coat your poison hate,
Wrap it up in lace and seal it.
I close my eyes,
Should run but I don't.
I can't find enough reason
To leave you alone.
Even though your words are golden
How can every word sting?
And every time I rest in silence
You take the chance to
Shatter my calm,
What pride I've built up.

Tell me that you love me
Tear my will to fight
Break, not bend
And even though I know
You're wrong
I can't help but almost
Believe in you.
Such a tie you've got on me
That even when it's the truth I see
I wonder how that could ever be
And I know you see what you do to me
Afraid to admit you could be my poison
The one thing I need to leave behind
Then you pull out the claws and remind
Me that this is not how
It's supposed to be.

I want to scream
And beg out loud
But so long in silence,
I'm not sure I know how.
Not sure if I can take
The beating I know will come,
Come from being honest
And letting myself show.
As I scratch away the headache
Blaring through my mind
All I can think of is
What I'll leave behind.
For all the fact you hated yourself
And turned that fury on me,
Still some where, deep inside,
I wonder if this is how it's supposed to be.

But sanity breaks new shores
And I know I have to break, too.
Break out of my hollow cave
And show the world of what I'm made
I'm stronger now,
For better or worse,
Strong enough to stand
As I say
I may not be who you want to see
But I am me
And that's all I can be.
Maybe someday
I'll find the strength to say
Everything I need to say
Until then, I count the days
Until you'll see who I am
Every day.