Illusions Of A Moonlit Waltz

I am not pure,
I am not perfect,
I am not what you expect;
I am not your dream girl.

What you know is who I want to be,
Who I am remains in the shadows.

You may know some things I laugh at,
Some things that make me want to dance,
And some things I love to do,
But you might cringe if you knew. . .

What doesn't scare me anymore.
What and Who I reach for when I'm Desperate.
The things I do to keep myself sane,
The things hiding in the shadows of the mantel of my mind.

If only you could see the things that made me cry,
The things that make me want to run away,
I wonder about the things that make me feel like I can fly,
If you knew, what you'd say.

I'm not wonderful,
I'm not all that glamorous,
I'm definately not what you've been waiting for.
Hell, I don't know what I'm waiting for!

I'm running blindly,
Running away from something maybe,
Possibly running towards something else entirely,
Just running for the sake of running at times.

Where the wind takes me,
Where fate bids me to be.
Who I feel like being,
Who fate needs me to be.

Just because I wander,
Just because you don't know my aim,
Doesn't make me aimless,
And doesn't mean I'm lost.

I'm not just beyond you,
I'm not above you,
Nor am I below,
We might be able to walk side by side,

Just don't expect me to walk a linear path.

Don't try to pin me down,
And I might just stick around.

Don't try to put me up on a pedestal,
And you might just find your goddess.

Don't try to figure me out,
And you might just begin to understand.

Don't fall in love,
And you might just get away.