Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Dance of Choas

Missing image

The rain fell on the world in thin sheets,

creating puddles on the uneven sidewalk,

where the reflections of colorful light,

from the small stores,

were distorted into neon splotches.

 

Footsteps were loud but were drowned out

as the sounds of cars and shouts,

vibrated through the air.

Umbrellas swarmed the air,

bobbing along in the soft light,

of streetlamps.

 

People walking hurridly,

trying to get to their destinations,

before becoming completly soaked,

no one sees the girl sitting on the bench,

staring alone with a bewildered,

look on her face.

 

She once particapted in this,

chaotic dance everyone seeemed,

to have mastered but her.

But now it was all a blur,

and all she could do was sit,

watching their movements,

trying to learn the steps,

without asking.

Author notes

Artist Credit: If you see him, say hi by Wawi Navarroza

A contest entry

What did you think?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Scyphon
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting take on the pic. An amazing write. I love the ending with the girl tryin to understand it and master their movement in chaos.


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    November 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You surely have a great talent for picture prompts!!!


  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    November 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a dance of chaos...I love how you twisted it into a memory where you used to do this dance...busy people passing by and how you describe their movements on the spot: the bustle and hustle, humdrum...

    she just watches and learn...

    Thank you for sharing your talent


    Anna Lee


  • Ryan79
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I like it!

    It is very good. There is so much going on it it that it's hard to know where to start. The first and last stanzas are my favorite. It is such a busy peice. So many things going on. It's like its trying to tell the girls emotions through her observations of other people. Very intriguing! Good luck in the contest.

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think that you did a great job with this Jadey I love the last two stanza good luck in the contest best wishes always be well

1 - 6 of 6