you sit there thinking about your past and present...
looking at your body
seeing all those shameless scars
and everytime you look at them ...
you see,
you feel,
the pain behind them,
wonder why you couldn't stop yourself.
Start to feel so disappointed in yourself,
that you can't handle it anymore.
grab that shiny new razor blade,
and debate if you really want to make a few marks..
you do...
..one, two, three....ten,
your sheets , pillows , and clothes covered in fresh blood.
its running down your legs ..your wrists..
starting to cry
still wanting to make more or make them deeper.
getting horrible flashbacks from your past and why you did them before...
remembering when your best friend , boyfriend or girlfriend walked in and saw you doing it...
and seeing their reaction
so you tried quitting before,
but cant seem to now though
addicted to the blood
the pain
the razor
it became your best friend
during all the ruffest times and now you want to back out on it...
can't seem to.
You throw away all your blades,
that doesnt last long,
you find more
and feel so gulity about it
you make a few more.
Now your done for the day...
feeling so ashamed,
but yet lighter and better than before..
the next morning you wake up
and wonder
why the hell did i do that?
Author notes
lianna27...i have been cutting for about a yr now i went 4 monthes w/o it during this time and then cracked again not to long ago...im trying to stop but it is getting so much harder with everyday
A contest entry
- How do you deal with....? by Lonely Christina.
900 points, ended December 4, 2008, 40 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what cha think?
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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filled with alot of emotions...ur struggle to quit is so apparent in the poem .....and u mak e it quit clear that quitting aint no easy task .........but i hope u succeed though....good luck with it and in the contest!!!
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aww
thanks.
i hope i do to... its always nice to know there is someone to encourage u lol thanks
-lindsay xoxo
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I get how you feel with how it makes you feel so much lighter; this is a good write.
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thanks
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I know how you feel!!! and also I love this poem, very good... hope you win
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lol thanks !!
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I have been a self injurer for over seven years now, and now I'm trying to stop, so I most definitely understand the struggle behind this poem. The way you worded everything was just amazing, it fit the mood and the subject matter rather well. I hope that you can find the strength that is within you to stop. You don't deserve to hurt anymore.
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aww.. thanks i hope you can to. i dont really believe any us deserve to hurt over and over...but thank u
-lindsay xoxo
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W0W THT P0EM WAS AMAZiiNG ANDD JUST S00O0O0 T0UCHiiNGG<< iiT IS FILLEDD WITH SOO MUCH EMOTii0NN ii ABS0ULETY L0OVEE iiT.
ii KANN SO0O0 RELATE T0 THIS P0EM AND WHAT Y0UR TALKIIN AB0UTT. I MYSELFF WAS A CUTTER F0R A YEAR AND LIKEE IT WASS JUST SOO HARD TO0 STO0P AND T0O THiiS VERY DAYY ii STILL HAVE A HARD TIME T0 N0T CUTT. iiTS A VERYY HARDD THING T0 ST0P AND UU DID AN EXACT J0B EXPRESSING THT INN Y0UR P0EMM
iiT WASS A BEAUTIFULL P0EMM ANDD A GREATT WRITEEE.
0NE 0F THE BESTT II HAVE READDD (:
^^) -MELiiJELLii <3
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thanks babe but ya lol im glad you could stop..i get so tired of seeing the dumb scars everyday....it just brings back way to many memories..thanks
-lindsay
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so very true. i've been cutting for about a yr. myself. i to, tryed to stop, shit, that didnt last very long! lol. and it is tre, my reazor blade is my best friend
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lol ya i was surprised i made it as long as i did when i tried to stop...thanks lol
-lindsay -
lol ya i was surprised i made it as long as i did when i tried to stop...thanks lol
-lindsay
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Wow what words of honesty. It is true the razor blade was my best friend. But not now. We can all heal but it takes a lot of time. I havent harmed for years but that does not mean I dont still have the feelings. Good luck in the contest wonderful poem
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thanks so much! but im glad you got over it even tho the tempation still lays within you...i was hoping i cld stop fo good but i guess i have to do a better job at setting my mind to it. thanks again
-lindsay xoxo
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this is really good. i know what your going through i stopped for a whole year then started it up again. i love how you made the reader see how the girls pain gets bled through the cut
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aww thanks...im srry , but ya it sucks when u stop then start again...imade it 4 months then ya ..it kinda sucks but w/e lol...thanks
-lindsay
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omg babe i love this! "grab that shiny new razor blade,
and debate if you really want to make a few marks..
you do...
..one, two, three....ten,
your sheets , pillows , and clothes covered in fresh blood.
its running down your legs ..your wrists.." those few lines rite there are the story of my life! ugh i kno it sucks hun...sumtimes i think cutting is more addiction than drugs...this is amazing good job
i love you -
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lol i like those lines..but its sad what they mean ... im sorry tho sweetie but i guess we all can/ or learn to get through it even with all the stupid ppl... and wit the addiction thing...sadly i have to agree with you
and thanks
love ya -
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yea i kno..... love you too and ur welcome
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I have friends who have the same thing going on. All I can tell you is to remember that it's not worth it and you are never alone in this. This is a very dark poem, but also very good.
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thank you...and i know its not ..but sometimes it is just so hard to resist...to me it is one of the hardest things to stop...when i start i just planned to do it once or twice then it became and everyday thing...but ya thanks
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