Darkness looms from above,
nothing can be seen
The storm rages on
The rough and ragged waters,
the only way to shore
A single light shines
Sharp rocks protruding upward,
tearing my vessel in two
Sinking into the abyss
Swirling dark waters rage,
unable to break free
On the edge of extinction
A heavenly glow surrounds me,
guiding me from the end
clouds disappear over head
Nothing lost yet the ship destroyed,
saved by a last second miracle
Hope salvaged by an angel
A contest entry
- imagery; lighthouse. by Ryno.
400 points, ended November 25, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hmmm. I liked the idea behind this. You inferred at the ending that that lighthouse was saving you, and used it as a strong metaphor...it is a good depiction of life, I feel.
I don't think the imagery (what I was looking for in this contest) is quite strong enough. You didn't paint a picture in my mind that made me "see" the piece...not get "told" it.
Good job though, thanks for the entry. -
Hope salvaged by an angel...
ahh those angels eh
Good write here, enjoyed the read
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I really like this. I liked the last stanza the most. It's beautiful. Keep up the good work.
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