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Hallelujah Villanelle

 

Delilah on my mind.  I watch my hair.
She pesters me like sweetness in a corse.
Her cutting glance will bind me to her chair.

So irresistible! -- The baiting stare!
Seduction burns my eyes with no remorse.
Delilah on my mind... I watch my hair.

I gasp! -- A broken sound like David's prayer...
My skipping heart a pulverizing horse...
Her cutting glance will bind me to her chair.

The kink of snapping strings does not compare
To how this maiden masters me, perforce:

Delilah on my mind... I watch my hair.

I know I'll slay an army for this mare.
With jawbone bent I see no simple course;
Her cutting glance will bind me to her chair.

And when the time has come to crush the lair
I'll fling my Hallelujahs to their Source.

Delilah on my mind... I watch my hair...

Her cutting glance will bind me to her chair.

 

Author notes

 

Inspired by Cohen's Hallelujah, the Myth of Samson and Delilah and Lyndon's beautiful and incredibly moving Psalm 42 Villanelle.

 

@};--,--

 

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • Night Hope gold member
    November 16

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    A wonderful penning, dear Scribe. I see Lyndon was quite pleased by what his poem had inspired from your eloquent quill. I, for one, would have defended your hair from being sheared by the deceitful Delilah. I think we'd have had an army to do so, knowing your legions of fans.



  • masterblaster gold member
    November 22, 2008
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    I told you that you write wonderful poetry, you just proved it again. kind regards Di


  • Desire gold member
    November 21, 2008

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    Oh My~

    I find when I read a piece- each line brings images and I learn- am educated also Blessed
    Love the form~ You penned this with ease like breathing air- I'm still learning will continue to learn but have inhaled what You exhaled
    Brilliant~
    I Appreciate Your comment on my work~

    and I will be back to read more of Yours
    to continue my education
    Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
    Best wishes too
    with much love & light~ Desire~*~


    • Victory Gin silver member
      November 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you! We are always learning on this little journey called life and its pretty grand...

      @};--,--

  • patrick20traveler
    November 19, 2008
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    Great!

    I've always found the villanelle a difficult challenge--you make it look easy and smooth as silk.


  • BlancetNoir gold member
    November 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I know I already commented on this, but I don't care, it's still calling me back

    'to read it again and again. I am captivated by this particular poem of your. Pulverizing horse? Damn, the artist formerly known as Victory Gin has pulled no punches, this is so amazing, I feel like Samson a little when I read it and am way too bashful to tell you what that is like...OK, enough. (jeeziz)


  • Cat
    November 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very nice


  • just mercedes gold member
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Congratulations

    Well deserved, well done.


  • AnnD Moderators member
    November 17, 2008

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    Hearty congratulations on your beautiful entry. Well deserving of the top place for sure.
    Congratulations.

    AnnD


  • Barbara gold member
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The term 'awesome' doesn't do this justice.(astounding? Excellent? Righteous? Gnarly groovy?) I've never been a fan of the Villanelle, but after reading this, I may be inspired to change my mind.

    Congrats on the gold... very deserving.


  • Amera gold member
    November 17, 2008

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    I love the Villanelle and this is absolutly brilliant. I see why it's wearing a gold cup. Bravo!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • BlancetNoir gold member
    November 17, 2008
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    Brilliant, as usual

    If this poem was food I would devour it, and beg for more, some Oliver Twist famished for a beautiful sexy poem.


  • just rob gold member
    November 17, 2008
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    wonderful

    I think I know her


  • tara wilson gold member
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is great allusion; now that i know the story


  • Lyndon gold member
    November 17, 2008

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    Brilliant!

    This poem is so fluent; precise; and poetical in dealing with the themes of this Old Testament story. The repeated lines are gorgeously loaded with rhythmic quality and insinuated meanings.
    Lyndon.


  • Luna Tique Fringe
    November 17, 2008
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    Speechless


  • just mercedes gold member
    November 16, 2008

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    Wonderful, as usual. Delilah is a great inspiration; she epitomises the implacable power of a woman who knows what she wants, and bends worlds to her shape.

    Aleister Crowley is a man who did much the same, and Leonard Cohen a sad troubador who understands and forgives us for being human.

    I will go and read Lyndon's poem, after I have enjoyed yours again. I find it wonderful that you are moved by women to such an extent, and find both grace and worship in your poem.


  • Maatkara gold member
    November 16, 2008

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    Bravo!

    Fabulous tribute to all three inspirational sources! Exemplary form as always.

    ♫ To listen to the original song inspiration, play track 5 ► Hallelujah on Leonard Cohen's album 'Various Positions'.


  • Kari gold member
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is stunning and very unique. I love this Villanelle. I appreciate you taking time to enter. After the contest I'll leave a more in depth comment on this piece

    Kari


  • Grunts Girl silver member
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh this was wonderful...
    reminds me of how the wisest of us run amuck
    with our single lives, thunderous wars
    our loves, attatchments, and passions for all
    a quest for knowledge, which the self abhors
    in stark certanty of the last bleak wall
    where on he stands at bay and looks to the skies
    most inaccessible to my tired eyes...

    how women can be such trouble
    such inspiration
    a blinding force and colored with wonder


    • Victory Gin silver member
      November 16, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for breaking the comment cherry. I never know if I am successful until someone comments. Your comment nicely summed up the core concepts I was attempting to communicate so I can breathe a little bit.

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