A glimmer of hope for all lost souls,
standing resoulute on a hill ,the beam never lulls.
Calling all to the safety of her shores
she has never turned one away before.
She calls through the night, to all who are lost in the sea of life:
come hopers,
come dreamers,
come lovers,
come weepers,
Seek shelter in my light
If only for this one, dark night.
Come rest your eyes
and tell no lies
I will not let you loose yourself in the night,
Just keep your eyes on my beacon of light.
children don't get weary
please don't tary
For your work is almost done.
A contest entry
- imagery; lighthouse. by Ryno.
400 points, ended November 25, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
I thought the rhyming and the flow were very forced - you could tell through phrases that just didn't fit. I also felt that there was not enough imagery in this piece, which is what I am looking for in this contest...the images you did have just "told" me about this lighthouse, I couldn't see it, feel it, etc in my mind. The main idea behind this piece was also a little cliche.
However, I liked your raw, valuanerable feelings of emotion that came with the piece. I really felt for those people looking for someone to take refugee with.
Thanks for the entry. -
Very nice work here
I so enjoyed the read and you pen very well I am storiesuntol and its very nice to meet you
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