A moment,
A peice of life,
Blurred.
Blurred out in our memories.
Life goes by so fast.
We go through life so fast.
So fast our memories are smudged in the excitment.
Slow down.
Author notes
The picture showed a blurred moment in time and the first thing that came to my mind was speeding through life.
A contest entry
- flicker by Death of the Author.
1000 points, ended December 11, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is a good write it captures the life of people I agree with what you are saying through this and I think any body who reads it could do the same I like the way that you use blured in the lasat line of the first stanza and the first line of the secone stanza. It is a good message and I like the way it is short a bit makes you seem like a bit of a hypocritical but that I feel works to get the messgae of the poem across.
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Great bones, I think. Very relatable to most - the blurring of life.
Only suggestion I can think of would be to plump this out, don't repeat the same things....other than that, great emotion.
best wishes in the contest.
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peice = piece
repetition of blurred...doesn't really work.
this is just a collection of simple statements, not a poem to me.
I like the idea of smudging memories in the speed of light. Slow down is also good. Concentrate on those parts, I think this needs some work.
Thanks for entering. -
"peice" should be piece.
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umm, hm.
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