I tampered with the thought of tugging the threads
that held together the person you've become, to break you down
piece by piece, one by one,
but I didn't want to live in your shadow anymore,
& release the arrow that could annihilate your cracking bones;
because I knew from the tremors swimming through my blood,
[that I wasn't that brave or catastrophic to watch you evaporate in thin air.]
-that was the only thing that set us apart;
otherwise, we were identical; our strength complied
the same capacity, our sentimental breakdowns consisted
of the overbalance of emotional baggage, and our minds
could only absorb so much, before our mentality would
eventually just. burst,
[& that's when I fall apart,
and you walk away.]
Desolating melodies are the only thing that keep my
heart beating at a constant rate, otherwise I'd amputate
my tear-ducts to show the world that I've had enough
and that my tears only repair my open pores,
not the pain that's been removed from my body
countless times, only to be inflicted on the untouched
limbs you haven't yet destroyed.
I feel quite pathetic, actually;
staring at a photograph that seemed as if
it were taken yesterday; studying our facial expressions
or how you craved my presence [closer] and my body heat
infusing your sensational adoration to touch my face
one last time; but I was only feeding myself bullshit
and reclaiming my hoodwinked imagination;
but I wasn't far from the truth,
& you weren't close to retaining another lie.
-didn't you tell me you cared?
or did I make the magnets on my refrigerator
spell it out, so it was easier for me to believe;
-& didn't you tell me I'd be okay?
or was I just scrubbing 'MISTAKE' from the hardwood floor
because I was afraid to pick up the individual pieces
of glass from underneath the soles of my feet;
you could once pull my strings and lead me to believe
that flowers didn't need the sun to bloom, or something
as blatant as you forcing me to believe that without
your help, my heart couldn't reform a visual breakthrough;
but I learned from my mistakes;
& I deserve the world;; [minus you ]♥
Author notes
Day 2.
Title #4;
YoureNoGoodForMe
A contest entry
- 7 Days 7 Prompts by stargazer..
750 points, ended January 3, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - for my favorites by leander.
900 points, ended December 30, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wisdom Teeth Blues: Indulge me, Please? by broken-colours.
500 points, ended January 22, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best of the best... by Jfd.
1500 points, ended February 3, 34 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
feedback would be greatly appreciated :D
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Superb...loved your style, your word play, the overall message of the poem, thank you for taking the time to enter!
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This one states everything I actually want to say the most stupid person that every came in my life...
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nice. i like it.
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Hmm mhhh. Very much enjoyed. The flow worked great, and as always I loved your words. Great write
Tod.
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Oh geez hoela, this was fantastical:) You are such a better writer than me so don't argue! Just shut up and keep writing, lol, :P
"I tampered with the thought of tugging the threads
that held together the person you've become, to break you down
piece by piece, one by one,
but I didn't want to live in your shadow anymore"First off, inmazinggg beginning. I like how you wrote about "living in his shadow". I never really thought of it that way beeforeee.
"hoodwinked imagination"
Incredible word choice! I just loved that:]
"didn't you tell me you cared?
or did I make the magnets on my refrigerator
spell it out, so it was easier for me to believe;
-& didn't you tell me I'd be okay?
or was I just scrubbing 'MISTAKE' from the hardwood floor
because I was afraid to pick up the individual pieces
of glass from underneath the soles of my feet"Ohkay, definitely my FAVORITEEEST lines of all. Amazing imagery combined with raw emotion and the personal experience of him saying that he cared and that you'd be okay without him. Goddamn boys! They sure don't make our lives any easier sometimes, haha.
"you could once pull my strings and lead me to believe
that flowers didn't need the sun to bloom"Awww. Those lines made me a bit sad for some reason, but there is such beauty in those words and it's truly crazy how someone can captivate you THAT much so you'll believe anything they say. And you grapsed that enchantment wonderfully my love:]
ilyy<33 BE STRONG. He's got nothing over you anymore:]
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Omfg. Your ending is s perfect! I'm in love. =0 Wow. Amazing. All of it is great. Wow. Im speechless!
Good luck in the contest! <3
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Thank youuu
I'm glad you like it ! ♥
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I stand in awe young lady.
This was spectacular. What amazing imagery and use of metaphor. It's a brilliant piece, you kept me going on..I loved the ending..It just holds so much depth and you grab the picture immediately. You are a writer of words but with many feelings and emotions..keep it flowing. Love this!
Love, Alyzeh
♥
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Message me the link once you're done
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