see me shatter
see me in pain
while I let my blood flow
down the drain
you've hurt me in ways
I cannot explain
while my wounds heal
I try not to squeal
at the wincing pain
all you've ever done
is make things worse
you are like an endless curse
my heart bleeds for things to repair
but it wont happen, I'm driven to despair
as I walk outside I see the sun
it weakens me with its blinding rays
I see one last glance of the mindless gaze
as I fall to my soon to be grave
I land on a patch of soft green grass
now I leave my mark on sanity
leaving the grass stained with my humanity.
A contest entry
- Emo's endless tears by xXtired-of-cryingXx.
400 points, ended November 30, 2008, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want your darkest of dark poetry. by Chelse-Oh.
950 points, ended November 21, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Hm. I'm kind of confused on what kind of form this poem is. It's half rhyme and half free verse. But anyway, good job and thank youfor entering. ~chelsey
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its supposed to be free verse
but sometimes i just rhyme without noticing
heh sorry and thank you
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great write, i love the emotion! the "heal, squeal" rhyme in the first stanza is a little forced, and there are a couple minor grammatical errors, but overall excellent job!
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thank you
and i know the squeal thing was an unsure thing but i couldn't think of another word
oh and could u point out the grammatical errors if u can?
im a grammar freak
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really all it is is not having"I" capitalized and missing the apostrophe in "I'm" in the fifth line of the second stanza, nothing major. I'm just kind of picky about that type of thing
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oh haha i always had problems with that even in elementary school
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WOW!!!!
amazingly written friend!
perfect emo work here !!!
hahaha
GOOD LUCK FRIEND ,IN THE CONTEST AND LIFE !!
muah!
<3
Anagha-Nataraj -
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thank you!
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This is great! i love the emotion and the scenery! it fits the prompt perrfectlly 2! congrats your in! -
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thanks!!
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