i.
there are scars on my ankles
that i tried to make into pictures
the last time i was high
but the butterflies were gone and
no rainbow-sparkled visions
jumped out at me this time.
and sometimes i think
you don't know who i am
or what grimy alleyways i've run through
so how can you really love me?
but it's my fault if you don't
so i shut my mouth and zip up my heart
before it spills out in hyphenated run-on sentences
that won't make sense to you anyway.
ii.
today i decided that i would dye my hair again
because you don't know this,
but my whole life i have lived in a world
where i couldn't be who i am
and i still don't want to,
not here,
not now.
but when i tried to lose myself this time,
to apply a new personality so much more
beautiful than this faded one,
purple foaming blood ran down my face
and stained my scalp
and didn't leave a trace in my hair
so i guess i failed there too.
iii.
i met a girl this evening
and it was hard to look at her
because i could see that
she's lost all the right words and
bloody washed-out dye stains her clothes
but she still doesn't feel a goddamn thing.
iv.
she told me that
the cold weather was making her numb
but i think it might just be
the mirrors that stare at her everywhere
she goes.
maybe if she couldn't see
what everyone else saw
she wouldn't feel so lost.
she's the only one who knows
that what they see is smoke.
v.
so forgive me if she walks away;
i don't know what she's looking for
or what's hiding behind her bland blank eyes
but i promise she'll be back when the morning comes,
lying face-up beneath a fuzzy blanket
that won't keep the shattered cold from spreading
through her notebook-paper bones.
and she'll smile at you
but will it really change anything?
Author notes
oh such angst.
Whatever you want to say. Critiques, anything. :)
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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that's some type of powerful.
stay tuned for a response, my love.
-
oh so sad...and damnit I feel you love.
oh, you write so beautiful though.
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Wow
This is really damn good. I'm proud to call you a favorite.
P.S. V is my favorite... -
beautiful.
i have no words
but iii. was my favourite. -
Whoaa. This is incredible. I loveloveLOVE how you wrote this.
-
but it's my fault if you don't
so i shut my mouth and zip up my heart
before it spills out in hyphenated run-on sentences
that won't make sense to you anyway.
...
Hah, pretty much my favorite part. Very relatable and just wow. You phrased that perfectlyy. I also love the emotional content in this piece, and the imagery, that makes the reader feel as if they're there. And yeahhh, I've definitely been in this situation before. It sucks =/
-v.
so forgive me if she walks away;
i don't know what she's looking for
or what's hiding behind her bland blank eyes
but i promise she'll be back when the morning comes,
lying face-up beneath a fuzzy blanket
that won't keep the shattered cold from spreading
through her notebook-paper bones.
and she'll smile at you
but will it really change anything?
...
Flawless way to end this. I love the metaphors within these lines; powerful & vivid.
This is one of my favorites
♥
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