The gentle allure, of forbidden fruit
to be looked at but not touched
touched but not tasted
For if you touch you must taste
and if you taste
Well then my friend
for you it will be your end
The taste lingers,
Like the white line thrill
You will want more
endlessly, constantly
She will entwine you slowly,
in her twisting vines
wrapping you tightly
till she has squeezed you dry
Then cut you loose
like a ship in a storm
You will drift endlessly my friend
Believe me I know
Author notes
http://i33.tinypic.com/2rgj9d5.gif
A contest entry
- Pic Prompt: BREATH-TAKING FANTASY! by The Moonchild.
700 points, ended December 9, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
All in all, the poem is good and I'm glad the picture inspired you to write about a femme fatale. But I think the word 'taste' repeats too often in the first two stanzas. I like the mention of vines, it adds a spicy touch to the imagination unlike the fist stanzas which state the obvious about a femme fatale. The ending of the poem is the best, it's like you finally picked up and showed your full potential!
Thanks for entering my contest!
Blessings,
~Moonchild -
I like "then cut you loose like a ship in a storm" good work ... ~
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