everything so blurry
i can no longer tell which comes first
so confused
lines blurring
peoples faces twisting
what happened
where did i go wrong
where did the lines go
where did my life go
it was just here
it just left
what happened
so confused
where did it all go?...
Author notes
this picture just reminds me of how things used to be..so unorganized so chaotic.. always confusion... okay so at this moment i dnt know how to add anything on to it..so if you have suggestions let me know..
A contest entry
- flicker by Death of the Author.
1000 points, ended December 11, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
thoughts???
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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thanks for changing the background
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oh wow confusing poem and its also very good though, and also thank you but its okay I'm over him
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Your write clearly shows the confusion one can go through - you've done well on that!
Only thing I can think of to suggest is maybe to expand on this somewhat - what situation is the person in to be so confused or maybe something like that......just a thought.
best wishes in the contest.
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I don't think this needs anything more. It is raw thoughts and emotion and I think it's great!
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We have all been there.Glad that it is past tense for you.You did a great job on this and I think alot of people as I said before will relate well to you.Good luck in this contest.
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This came across more as ideas for a poem yet to be written than a poem. I think if you can take your ideas and beef them up, maybe with some stronger imagery it will work quite nicely. You have plenty of time to work on this so let me know if you do.
Just one thing, I hate that background, always have. As a favour could you change it? Haha, don't worry if you want to keep it
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