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He Loves Me Not

Picking petals one by one
he loves me

Memories of times with him
twirl quietly through my mind
falling softly with each tear
he loves me not

The velvet touch lingers
the scent of yesterday
words of love inflame passion
he loves me

Before the dreams faded
when laughter was alive
and my soul,

before he uttered
 

he loves me not

Author notes

He loves me not

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • Beautiful Irony
    January 5

    Edit | Reply
    Love it. I love the whole thing, the idea and the piece. I love the way you use a really common occurrence (the picking at the flower) and make it original. I love the way the whole thing just pushes you towards the inevitable ending of "before he uttered/he loves me not". The repetition of "he loves me" and "he loves me not" works extremely, extremely well. I love the form you chose, it works incredibly well, and your description is just superb.
    Brilliant write.


    • januaryrain gold member
      January 5
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, I've picked many petals off a flower with the hope that the last petal will be "he loves me", but alas it never is.


  • penman gold member
    January 1
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Very touching and powerful. Thank you for sharing.

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your most heartfelt entry Josie


  • Puppydog gold member
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    BEAUTIFUL!!!

    Love sure is up and down so much these days Todays people for the most part have forgotten the emotions of the heart.'s

1 - 6 of 6