you said I looked like a hollywood movie star because of my hollow cheeks and sunken eyes. they were everywhere but no where. i loved you already. my hair was long. it took a day to put it into tiny plaits. then they all came back out, but it didn't matter. you told me i was one of the main people in our group then. we would get on busses and not stop getting new ones until we found ourselves home. wherever it was. we would draw on each others walls with the expensive paints you bought. we would take a million pictures in a day and hang them on trees so the world would know we were invincible. and so beautiful. we would jump out of trees just to video it. we wold jump over barrels after we threw stones at the sky. we would jump over streams and take pictures of shadows. we'd make weddings every other week, with real rings and speaches and flowers. we'd have funerals for balloons and trees and name everything we came across. we'd sleep in bus parks so we could watch the many suns and opem bottles with our teeth. because we could. we'd jump in the sea with dresses on, and bring out another one to wear next time. we always wore dresses. we did forward rolls through trains and spent hours in phone boxes. and the swings. we were godesses and gods. the best thing about one of us learning to drive was the money we wasted. it didn't matter. and if someone wasn't there we'd drive to their house, pick them up and drive past sunlight. listening to songs we hated, just for the sake of it. we'd sing songs we loved. then it was special. we always said we'd sing and dance forever. it did feel like it. we would sqeeze under gates and listen at doors for gigs we couldn't afford. we'd stare at the stars for 11 minutes and 11 seconds. it was lucky you see. there was always a new one. we'd always name them, of course. we'd go home and not talk for hours. we'd save it for our next night of eternal conversation. we'd only eat for one meal a day, but have the most expensive food. we'd make it last on the extravagence of what ever the fuck we wanted. we were driven that way. we did things because we can. we cared for things because we couldn't give a fuck about whatever happened. just as long as we got married next to each other and pledged the next holiday to eachother. it made sense. we had nothing else. we wrote letters and put real lipstick on them. we'd write them pages long, so you would spend as much time reading it as we would have had talking about it. we had contests of who could go the longest under water, the longest hiding in bushes, the most secret place we could kiss and never be found by the out side world. you'd come and see every show. and there for ever cry. we cried together. it felt natural that way. we told each other of how much each of us were dying, but never felt bad for not helping. we just provided ditraction for each other. our philosophies didn't matter. we knew the world didn't care. we told each other and laughed. we didn't have to care. i didn't belong to you and you didn't belong to me. we just loved. we believed we realy did. we made candy floss just to throw it in the wind. we looked for running animals in the clouds. we bought jelly sweets just to find the ones that made us smile and threw the rest to the sea. it was bottomless. the world was endless.
and we never said goodbye,
simply because we thought it would last forever
Author notes
I broke up with someone and went to have a coffee at a cafe. I met the most amazing people in the world. then it was over.
this is just for peace of mind, don't expect it to be a litterary master-piece.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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wow
what anice piece of imagery full rambling...and so aptly titled....Fuck It...life is that way..we meet..we fall..we embitter..we part..a.nd we meet agin...lol....this is going on for centuries quite unchanged...lol.....guess you would write more on this.If you lke vsit me and read me. -
ramblings are the best because you truly get to see inside a persons soul.anyway i prefer poetry uncut and raw because thats how life is.
"so that the world would know we were invincible"
haha i liked that line. it reminds me of my best friend and i and all the shenannigans we get into because doesnt every teenager really think they're invincible at some point?
but its best that way, it really is.
"i didnt belong to you and you didnt belong to me. we just loved"
beautiful and sweet.
thank you for sharing this wonderful and refreshing write.
Three smileys chicka
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Screw the formalities; this is emotion. Pure, pained, and anything but simple. So many visions came of my own life, the fleeting moments - friends who'd come and disappeared, before I ever knew they had gone. Time has that way with things, allowing us to see the bright distractions, feel the waves consuming/embracing, and then leaving us to drown in memory.
I wish i could say that the flashes will stop haunting, or that when your older things are different... But that would be a lie. I do know that from all my pain I did learn one thing, how beautiful the moments in between were, those dream-laced sighs set on repeat in my mind. They were what I cherished, and to this day I cannot read something like this and NOT cry... I ache for you ...
"and we never said goodbye,
simply because we thought it would last forever"
Aww honey, this is lovely. Just something honest and bare, straight from the core.
Love you!
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oh yeah, I bookmarked this.
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"we would take a million pictures in a day and hang them on trees so the world would know we were invincible. and so beautiful."
-For me, that one line describes what this piece is all about: being young and beautiful and invincible and never-ending.
This piece made me ache so much. I miss all of my friends, the ones in chicago and the ones in texas, and even if our friends are different this piece so defined us, I guess it defines all groups of friends.
This makes me want to cry and I can feel my eyes watering and feel the shake in my chest and the breaking of my breath. I want to curl beneath your words and sleep and never wake up and dream always and never have to worry about losing people. I'm really about to cry... and I haven't cried in such a long time. And there it goes... down my cheeks...
I love you
I love you
I love you
with everything in me.
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even in comments you are the queen of description. I'm so happy I can reach out and touch you in words.
It can be related to everyone, this kind of write. All those summer days.
I'll love you forever and a day
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