I know the wretched past of wilder times
with sin often preying within my mind.
I loved women; laughed, in drunken infidelity,
proud lust was vain, poisonous cowardice.
I lied and cheated; deep deceit the seed
planted with selfish foolishness and greed.
I shall not dwell in shadows of my ghosts.
I kneel before your crucifix. I pray.
I am afraid, although I will pretend
to quell the inner storms. My God, I pray
to tell you –
No! I cannot say-
but, must!
I feel the frown of doubt upon my brow.
Ignore my darkness – light my soul, as now
I fall in quiet supplication’s dread.
My pleasures once, this day are now abhorred,
I kneel in search of my humility,
my heart is faint- my courage feebly dead
I hide my face in praying hands, Sweet Lord,
forgive this sinner his iniquity.
Author notes
My epigram: "There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice. "
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), Following the Equator (1897)
A contest entry
- Dante's Inferno by Victory Gin.
1750 points, ended November 21, 2008, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I would like to be constructive on this but, its so good and held such shame but such courge to addmit the mistakes the person made. I loved the part that said I feel frown of dought upon my brow . Ignore my darkness - light my soul. So, I say too you bravo on this powerful piece.
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This was a thoughtful piece reflecting upon the experience of folly in youth. I appreciate confessional pieces generally but feel the first person narrative was ordinary. For this contest I was looking for something more symbol rich and transporting. Thank you for entering though -- and for remembering to add an epigram.
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Aching.
"I shall not dwell in shadows of my ghosts."
I loved that line. A double negative. You are not just hidden by your own regretful ghost, but the regretful shadows they cast. Really, a very strong phrase.
I also found the first stanza well written. It told a story, told emotion and had a good pang of imagery in there too.
I think, with your very last two lines, you lost your power that you had threw the full poem. I mean, it kind of summed up your topic of the piece and your emotion, but maybe something stronger because it seemed covered my the boldness of the parts before it.
Really though, a good job and a good essance of that really hollow, sad, throbbing feeling caught. I can feel it now.
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