The day is evermore dark and tempestuous,
For since the sun has stopped its shining
Every light in my world has been just as ablatitious.
Those foolish men in the long white lab coats.
They thought they could heal me,
Could proactively reinstitute my inner morals.
It seems they have failed to make a positive decree,
Those foolish men in the long white lab coats.
I never enacted a feat to deserve a punishment of this sort,
Killing the unworthy is not an unheard
Form of justification and sport,
Those foolish men in the long white lab coats.
Every time they inject their magic serum,
My mind has less and less of itself to calculate.
I feel that those men need to correct their theorem,
Those foolish men in the long white lab coats.
There is nothing wrong with me, nothing I cry!
But it seems forever and a day I will linger
Within these padded walls, unable to satiate and satisfy
Those foolish men in the long white lab coats.
A contest entry
- Bright White Jackets by AutumnsFlame.
2667 points, ended January 20, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Good tone to this, I liked that part. You have the right idea. I think you tried a bit too hard to rhyme this and forgot about the meter. You pulled it back together in the last two stanzas, but look how the third stanza has longer and shorter lines.... Thank you for entering my contest.

