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Drinking Erosion;



i always tell you -
it doesn't matter how many times
my eyes hit the bottom
of the glass,


i like teetering on the brink
of consciousness.

 

 

 

and even if my eyes

glaze over like marbles,

you'll always be

in the back, front,

left and right

of my mind.

 

and at the end of the night

i'll be slurring down the phone,

letting my lips curl around;

i love you.

 

 

 

 

Author notes


It's like..
binge drinking.

x

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • AutumnsFlame
    January 20
    Edit | Reply
    Where did you get binge drinking from a song about insanity? I don't know if this entry fits the contest.... hmmm.... Oh well. It was alright. You grammar needs some work though. "i" is ALWAYS capitalized unless there is a very good reason for it not to be. You had some good images, and I also think this could have been longer. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • Eldrich Capricorn
    December 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    man oh man

    more and more amazement delivered right into my mind via my heart....It's in you; the soul of poet, beautiful and unbound...you've got a pronounced way with words...pun intended.


  • xeroabyss II
    December 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    To bad, unlike binge drinking, it doesn't numb away the bad feelings and make everything seem a little less important and serious


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh boy I have been here a time or two, how come I love you comes so easily with Jack and Jonny? Well written. Best to you in the contest hun

  • Streetcorner
    November 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow that was nice, cheers.



  • camus gold member
    November 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You definitely have something young lady. I thoroughly enjoyed your depiction of your all-encompassing love for your partner. The second stanza is a fitting testimony to the power of your love that permits no distraction but in fact even strengthens in the process of losing your mind to the escapism of alcohol.. Oh to be young again !


  • Death of the Author
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    LOVE IT.

    eyes hit the bottom of the glass <3

    teetering (how cool IS that word!) on the brink of consciousness <3

    letting my lips curl around;
    i love you <3 alliteration

  • michaeline
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Although I can relate to the person here as I have a problem with drinking in the past,I do not quite follow how this has to do with Bright White Jackets?Maybe I am missing it,I don't know but this is how one feels when they are a drinker,you are right on with the thought processes here.Any way good luck to you in the contest.

    • ElectricBloom
      November 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      it's like..
      in bright white jackets she's being taken away from the person she loves, right?
      and drinking takes you.. in a way.
      and in the song they're trying to erase "you" from her mind. trying to fix her.
      drinking makes you forget stuff.

      but in this, i'm saying.. no matter how much i drink i'll never forget you?

      i think it connects? somehow lol.

      thanks for the comment!!

1 - 10 of 10