Why did you crush my heart
As if you were crumpling
A piece of waste paper?
Only my heart took it worse
It didn't have crumple-zones
God, this hurts so much
Like lacing my skin with acid
Like lashing my back with a burning whip
You killed me
Reached your enormous fist inside
And pulled out
My teeny tiny heart
Caution: Delicate
And then you proceeded
Your vivisection
You lied to me
That was your first cut
You forsaked your word
That was your next punch
You cheated on me
You reached inside me
Stole my breath when you told me
Laughed in my face as I cried
Told me "Sorry, I didn't want to lie."
I howl in pain
I scream in sorrow
I wrap a pillow around my head
I pull my hair out in chunks
I strangle myself in desperation
I beat my head against the wall
I tie the noose, hearing Death's call
I take out the Butcher's knife
And guess where my heart should be
And tear it out
For you to see
How annihilated it is
How much pain you have caused it
And then I suddenly feel a strange and welcome relief
From all of the lashings and gashings and trashings
Oh, I must just be dead.
Author notes
Priya1989
A contest entry
- Big Emotion... by Walking Oxymoron.
550 points, ended November 22, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - for woman only by Mrs. C..
500 points, ended December 17, 2008, 43 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - True Emotion by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended November 15, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Hmmmm this was a great poem. Love will come, but just know it can never be forced. I personally have noticed the less you let a person have a hold over you the more they cling.
The Positive:
I like your structure. It is a very interesting form of writing.
The Negatives:
No real flow. It is a bit to all over the place. Try reading it out loud. I have noticed that really helps.
My Favorite part:
I wrap a pillow around my head
I pull my hair out in chunks
I strangle myself in desperation
I beat my head against the wall
I tie the noose, hearing Death's call
A very emotional stanza. I really liked it for the raw emotion. It practically bleeds.
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Yeah... that's pretty deep. Hurt you bad.
Excellent write. Very deep emotion.
I hope you make it through! (Or never have to feel it...!) -
Heartfelt
I love the metaphoric yet very real imagery used here, lol.
What i like about this poem is that it is non-gender specific, and its very hard to forget that us males have feelings too lol.
It has a masochistic air about it, as if it just touches on the subject, and it makes things all the more painfully mysterious.
Its funny, i usually can't stand suicidal poems, but this is fantastic!
All i want to say is, i'm sorry you had to feel this.
Very well written and wonderful metaphors...
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Wowoa!!
Hey hey hey....now dis i wat i njoy reading!!......
amzing rite!!!.....kinda...my genre!!
and i just liked d way...u potrayed anger....and eventually the lasting relief!! seriosly...its really tough to pour ur heart out in anger...esp wen its boiling to spill out everythng!!!
in d end...an amzing effort...keep writing!!
Now on ..m gonna keep an eye on ur page
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angry but in a way that makes you want to just cry or scream...
i feel you
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painful to read
I can feel pain in reading your poem.
your emotions are very raw and written with anger.
Best,
Isabella
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