It is true
that often we live our lives
never looking back
at the many things we've done.
All the hurt
and suffering that we needlessly
caused.
All the people we left
in the lurch.
All the homeless,
hungry,
and sad people that we could
if only we had noticed
have helped.
But we never noticed.
We just walked our walk
talked our talked
convinced ourselves
that it is me
and only me that mattered.
Then one day
our time ends
and we stand before Saint Peter
at those pearly gates
he's got this paper in his hands
and he's reading
about our lives
and all that we accomplished
during it.
At the end
he frowns
and walks away
shutting the gates
with you on the outside.
So you see
it is our own choices
thoughts
and actions
that give us
a one way ticket to hell.
Author notes
To be honest I thought that this would be a very interesting contest to enter. I really do find this prompt to be one that can go in a lot of different ways. So I went to deviantart.com and looked through their wonderful pictures and came up with this train. It's title is one way ticket to hell. Well that did it. I had my prompt. Hope you like the poem.
In a list
- trekkergirls poetry corner group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Dante's Inferno by Victory Gin.
1750 points, ended November 21, 2008, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CELEBRATING POETRY AND POETS- ONE-DAY competition, "PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN" WORK ONLY by Vera Rich.
6000 points, ended November 26, 2008, 127 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1011 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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This is an excellent piece
Well said, and very true!! but we stand in front of our maker, and will be acountable to our actions.
Blessings
Rend
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excellent points!!!
a very powerful write! i hope that those that read this poem will act upon what it's saying because it's very true. everything we do on this earth (good and bad) will be part of where we go when we leave here. although sad to say, some people do wrong things for the right reasons and st. peter and god know the difference between us doing for others and doing for ourselves. very well done!!! keep up the good work!
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point taken. very powerful write.
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This is such a great poem and I love your background my friend! Lovely work and always a pleasure to read you. Take care!
Jeremy0826 -
I can't say I agree with the message of it much. But I do like the way you wrote it, with the short lines, and I think it was a cool idea for the contest. Great write!
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"So you see
it is our own choices
thoughts
and actions
that give us
a one way ticket to hell."
-Absolutely. Well written. I like your background and picture as well. Very fitting.
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Thanks glad that you liked this. I liked the train too. The contest I was in made me take the picture out... but when it was over I replaced it. They also made me take the background off... again I replaced it. I like them all together myself better.
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really a poem that grabs the reader and hold them. I love the background and the graphic ... reminds me of the Oz man lol.
thanks for sharing and the message comes across well -
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thanks glad that you like it.
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I appreciate the observations and resulting contemplation and am glad to see that the contest was able to inspire you. There is a lot of suffering in the world and we do the best we can to deal with it. I used to be more of a bleeding heart but then I realized we are all essentially alone fighting our own war. This isn't to say I don't help people because I do; however, the quality of our lives seems to depend upon what some people might call karma or the extent to which God loves us -- but those are just my thoughts with a little dose of reality. At the same time I don't believe there is a one way ticket to hell. Hell is a state of mind and states of mind are quite fleeting. As for the contest: I was looking for something with more symbol and allegory; something more transporting than an illustration of the "visible" world. Also, this entry did not include an epigram which was an explicit part of the contest guidelines. Nonetheless, I appreciate you entering.
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Sorry - you seem to have misunderstood the requirements of my competition - it was for poems about Poetry and/or poets. I wish you luck with this poem, elsewhere - but as far as the "Celebrating poetry and poets" competition is concerned, I do have to say "No".
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Like your conclusion. In life's journey it is true, we write our own ticket to hell.
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This entry will need to be modified before the competition closes to meet contest requirements. Please reread the contest rules. Thank you.
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This has been done. Thank you for the suggestions
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okay I just realized you asked for no images... okay when you asked us to look over the page at the pictures for prompts I was thinking you wanted us to use them. And I spent so much time just looking for the right one. Shhh... I'll take them out I guess.
Okay
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Excellente
For a contest, it is in my estimation a very difficult subject matter, to which I owe you great satisfactions of applause. you have done really well. The epigram is one which really puts the poet on the spot. also, you've quaintly veneered over the demonic pledge, as one which openly exists in looking back at our past, or a historical part of our consciousness. I loved that part, in that, you remain part of the life we are although it could be the vast unknown. Being locked out is in as much as, it's not your time yet, in, either heaven or hell. Nice composition. Sir William.
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thank you for your wonderful words about my poem. I sort of liked it too. And when I saw that picture. Well I just had to use it. I do like the prompt tho. It was a good creative one. thanks for hosting this contest.
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