Hanging
such fragile thoughts out to dry
while a monsoon makes the wood rot;
I was lost
and pissed off
before cracking a hungry mongrel –
magically
all seemed right in the world
with that eternal well of inspiration coming to my rescue.
Every vapour takes its form until it rises like a genie.
I take my form yet I am shapeless without wishes.
Who are we really?
All I know is that I am not you
and thinking naturally enough,
“Thank fuck for that smallest mercy!”
We are such small fractions of who we should be
sliced to pieces by fear and compromise.
Personally nothing tastes nicer than fantastic sex-
Nothing leaves such rancid taste as a dud bang.
“Come on, pick up, I know you’re there!”
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Jesus, really?
This is all over the page isn't it? You mix absolute brilliance with complete idiocy and confusion. What are you thinking? What are you thinking, that your reader will know your meaning or that simple minds should abandon all hope? You can choose, but either way, you can do better. Clarity. That's the key my dear friend.
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My knowledge of Australian slang is sadly imperfect but I have heard of "cracking a fat" so I very much fear that "cracking a hungry mongrel" may well be something along the same lines but ineffably more disgusting. I have to say I disagree that a dud bang leaves a rancid taste. A dud one is better than none at all in mon livre.
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Nice write
What I personally liked about this piece was how it starts with a very refined poetic opening but by the end of it the readers get a more honest side...
loved the ending...
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as am I.
Are we to live the entirety of 2009 without your words????
Write, fucker, write!! Even if it is shit, at least I know you breathe.
and THAT is MY wish.
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Bonzer
This one's a goodie, Dave me old cobber:
"So where were you when Louis the sixteenth had his head removed – knitting?"
Here's another possibility:
So where were you when Ned Kelly got transported – sitting on the Black Stump?
PS You'll like me new Memories poem.....Andalucia will never be the same. -
Fucking sweet
This one is excellent. I really like the writing style, it comes off harsh, intelligent, and humorous at the same time. I loved
We are such small fractions of who we should be
sliced to pieces by fear and compromise
I often feel this way.
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Well, you know--
you are preachin mostly to the already converted round here, tho there are pockets of the atavistic which are deaf & dumb,
Personally nothing tastes nicer tha(n)t fantastic sex-
an oopsers!
I think Al Qaida should kidnap Rush Limbaugh and threaten to chop off his head. (Since we don't negotiate with terrorists they would do so)
O'reilly, they should just threaten to kill, then he could bluster and such on air while slinking about with 50 or so rowdies armed with uzis while we laughed and laughed.
yeh yeh got nothing to do with the poem, but it made me feel better.
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:)
well, I had to check out Cin-cin's interest, lol... so glad I did.
Loved the line;
So where were you when Louis the sixteenth had his head removed – knitting?
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Welcome to the Monkey House. Was that "cracking hungry mongrel" your sister by any chance? It just has that feel to it. The reference to madame Defarge certainly does make you look smart, like your girlfriend says. I happen to disagree with you. A dud bang still tastes good. It is the fantastic sex we missed out on that leaves the rancid taste. You should have your man card revoked for making such an oversight. The poem passes with a C+.
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Do you even have a clue what fantastic sex is asshat? I'm not his girlfriend, he's just my Boo godddamit. Dud bang yourself...then taste it.
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I stand corrected and thanks for the kinky suggestion. You want to watch?
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“Hanging
such fragile thoughts out to dry
while a monsoon makes the wood rot;
I was lost
and pissed off
before cracking a hungry mongrel –
magically
all seemed right in the world
with that eternal well of inspiration coming to my rescue.”
Your dick is hanging down
You’re all wet
Your dick is rotting in the monsoon
Very unhappy
Then you fuck some dog and magically it’s alright
You are inspired again
Every vapour takes its form until it rises like a genie.
I take my form yet I am shapeless without wishes.
Who are we really?
All I know is that I am not you
and thinking naturally enough,
“Thank fuck for that smallest mercy!”
You get a hard on
from the smell of hot pussy
and at least it is better than masturbation
So where were you when Louis the sixteenth had his head removed – knitting?
Obscure reference to feel smart
We are such small fractions of who we should be
sliced to pieces by fear and compromise.
Personally nothing tastes nicer that fantastic sex-
Nothing leaves such rancid taste as a dud bang.
We are pathetic creatures
Wanting the good fuck but scared of the bad one
“Come on, pick up, I know you’re there!”
Wanting wins -
Powerful
.... and very brave.
Yes, women are our judges, and our reason to hang out with "the guys", because they are so much better than us in so many ways ... except one, and you have found it.
Sag
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inspiration--->insult--->fucking.
love the last line. has that "i hate you bitch, i love you" feel to it. such a strange mixture of philosophical...and whatever its antithesis is lol. a self-discovery through flesh. a man on a mission without hope...hmm
nice job of making the empty hunt pathetic and funny simultaneously.
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Well be careful what you wish for comes to mind with this, that and of course the fact that as women we get to decide who the worst lay is we ever had and then spread it around so the bloke never gets another one, but of course they all end married with kids and then it's just a case for a blue pill whenever they have time.
C
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