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"The girl so cute..."

The girl so cute...
Divine in her little form;
Gorgeous in her little dress;
In pain I turn away;

Lost at my desk;
My daughter is divine;
But I see her friends-
In pain I turn away;

In the realm of disgrace,
Pictures that I love;
No harm to me,
No harm to any,
No harm done?
In pain I turn away;

But I look,
At my desk,
To my tie,
In pain I turn away;

I breathe deep
Scan the window,
I see my screen,
In pain I look away...

Dw

Author notes

"The mind of a paedophile".
A challenge to the bold. Only The Bold will answer. All strong entries and good luck to all!

Dw

A contest entry

Any comments always welcome

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • Classic Violette
    October 1, 2009

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    That was really nice until i read your author notes and understood the double meaning behind the words. Now it's super creepy. A window into the minds of the tormented and wicked.

    Had no idea you even wrote poetry. Guess i should pay more attention.


  • paperparadox silver member
    March 26, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Wow...

    I guess the feelings and desires of anyone burdened with this predatory bent must be so deeply immersed in guilt and secrecy... Although we are so quick to condemn them for being what they are, have we truly tried to understand what makes them tick? Hard to say ~ it's such a taboo subject, isn't it?

    Anyhow, the starkness of your lines gives a great impact to your qualifying end-line:

    'In pain I turn away;'

    I also applaud the everyday things most of us take for granted, but which hold a hateful mirror to this person's eyes to show him what he really is...

    'But I look,
    At my desk,
    To my tie,'


    You have 'shown' rather than 'told', which, as we all know in this field, is by far the greatest form of writing.

    Excellent work here. So pleased to have visited this night!


    • DreamWanderer
      May 22, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      Paperparadox, you're the best. A contest entry and I stepped out with the toughest subject matter. Not for the timid but not always the wisest move. Thanks for the comment!

      Dw


  • KayJay
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I share your aversion and applaud your writing... this was thoughtful and well done; not in the least erotic but rather a glimpse into the feelings of a troubled soul... Bravo.
    Ken


  • Scyphon
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, crazy poem... You really had taken the acts of a pedo and made them a hardship. Such a pain to hold and live with. Well done and good luck


  • HereComesTheSun
    November 16, 2008

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    very well done on a hard prompt, it showed the pain felt and it really just took the reader inside the mind. great work. and good luck


    • DreamWanderer
      November 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I had reservations on posting this at all - I find this poem creepy. Which is the idea I suppose. Keep in mind this was an experiment in free flow and the topic was chosen solely because of its extremely pariahical nature. Thanks all ;-)

1 - 7 of 7