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Transformation

There’s a look within your eyes that, like a gentle touch,
reassures my mind and lets me know how much
you care. Your words weave a silken web
of hope, and in the flow and ebb
of feelings that start
within my heart
I find love,
becoming whole.
Where once my soul
roamed in lonely desolation,
it now finds hope. You offer me salvation.
Lying in your arms, I whisper words of sweet desire
as our feelings are transformed by passion’s consuming fire.



Author notes

Hope this is close to what your were looking for...
Prompt: Seduce my mind, ensnare my heart, capture my soul, and my body is yours completely...Unknown
Picture Credit: http://gabatinie.deviantart.com/art/Love-22189965
No more than 150 words (83 used )
No more than 15 lines (15 used )
Hour glass shape

A contest entry

Critical Comments Always Welcome

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Hikari Lady
    November 23, 2008

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    Truely beautiful poem full of love and passion, still not vivid passion.
    Thanks for entering and best of luck!

    ~Noor


  • Riftkin gold member
    November 20, 2008

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    Form poetry, this is wonderful and your poem is so sweet dealing with love and devotion, with passion added into it.

    Joann


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    November 16, 2008

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    I really like the hourglass

    And the content of the poem is aww.. love, devotion and passion!


  • DreamWanderer
    November 16, 2008

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    Ah. The finding of love's salvation, the sparking of passion's consuming fire. Timeless themes, with them there is no going astray. Unfortunately for this poem, extreme in it's skillful depictions, I can little relate, especially to the last half, perhaps excepting "roam[ing] in lonely desolation", as I've yet to find a love. Oh I know I will, but for now I must pacify myself with these fine works and only imagine... good luck in the contest! :-)


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    November 16, 2008

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    this form is different, I think that you did an excellent job with it... Form poetry boggles my mind.. lol.. the poem itself is outstanding. I particularly like lines 9, 10, and 11. I do like the entire poem also.

    good luck

    kat


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh I love the hour glss and the word useage, you did beautifully and sensually with this, good luck
    Linda

1 - 6 of 6