No reserved spots beneath a great silver moon
when the glow spreads across evening into night
the ball of light seems as big as the day
white trees and rooftops play the props
when moon takes on the size of a hot air balloon
the noble aspect of a goddess of the night
and the points of steeples fetch feebled reach
to touch the sandy soft cheek...seeming so near.
No reserved spots to find the place in the passing night
to soak in the glow of this silver bright shine
for night and starlight make a steady road, onward
no spots held for one, even silver sister of golden Sun.
A contest entry
- Fully by Mari Goes.
1300 points, ended November 22, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I like the contrast between the banal and "poetic" descriptions of the moon in lines 5 and 6. Lots of stand-out phrases.
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I like M-C's comment, there is always a soft polish. There is also much beauty to these words that also incorporate the photos and my no reserve words.
'night and starlight make a steady road, onward' is very hopeful, seeing into tomorrow. There had been very beautiful poems about the moon on your page; this is one where you created nice images.
Thanks for being inspired
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A great premise, and well painted. Very visual and thought provoking as well.
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Good length- made it easy to read and more enjoyable.
And the idea here is cool. And well presented as usual.
Luck in contest!
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Your words always have a soft polish, PK,
as the "silver bright shine" you mention.
M-C
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I was tempted to reserve a spot in the contest just to rile "IT."
"white trees and rooftops play the props"
I like that...yes, they can be seen as just ornaments, it's the moon that is the real focus...both in the phto and in the emotion of the writer and writer.
And of course the "no reserved spot" speaks of loneliness, transience, sadness and longing...that part I especially liked.
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"seems a big as the day " did you want'a' in this line, threw me off a bit. lol.
"points of steeples fetch feebled reach
to touch the sandy light cheek" loved the sounds in this one.
As usual your work leaves a very clear, lovely image
in my head.
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