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I Pause For Clarity

Condensed below the weighted mind,

Above my soul remains

a blown-up chaos, A love

dispelled in confusion

I long for clarity

for the heart is stretched

In reach of truth and sin

For I'm oblivious to the man I should choose

border-lining a created heavenly hell

choosing either, the hollow sacrifice



"Change" begins the wind, sneering

"stay" the vocals of few

"Leave" the chanting of the crowds

Relentless, I'm torn into the triangle

subtle lonesome footsteps

among the violent shades of spirits passing

Realization

I am alone

Or so I take to feeling



The grip I've taken, loosened

Yes, carelessness begot my passion

I'm aware of the severe losses

my love

Self

Author notes

Written For Pol. Hope You Like It.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Tristania
    November 26, 2008

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    You're one amazing writer!I'm going to add you to my favorites!In this poem you describe exactly how I am feeling at the moment!Though I too have a way with words I honestly couldn't have done better!Be proud of your work because you have a gift!Marvelous job choosing the pic and background!The entire thing was done flawlessly!I've emailed this to my friends and loved ones so they'd be sure to see the billiant work you've done and come to be more familiar with your other works as well!-Blessed Be

  • StarGrrl
    November 17, 2008

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    Nice write. Can't even imagine going through that. Hope you are okay.

    But to comment on the poetry... I lked it. It flowed very nicely and painted the picture of the situation perfectly. The emotion was great! I also like the font, pic and centre style you choose for the layout.

    Great Poem, Thanks you featuring!

  • poeticweaver silver member
    November 17, 2008
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    Good Work!

    I like how you captivate the reader here and draw the heart as well as the eyes in with each passing line. Like pickle in the middle, by yourself it's no easy game. Let your words continue to pour down like rain. Thanks for sharing you, and it's a pleasure reading your works once again my new old friend. Peace, Timothy aka poeticweaver~


  • FaerieDust9213
    November 16, 2008

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    very lovely and heartfelt. it's a little dark and beautiful at the same time. ha ha it is very beautifuly written thank you so much for sharing i really enjoyed reading it

    . Rewarded 4


  • D u a n a gold member
    November 16, 2008
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    very nice- it rings and sings with a melody- very enchanting also.


  • XxAbby-Jay-CrunkxX
    November 16, 2008

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    great

    wow i absolutely loved this poem. its unusual in a good way, it expresses a lot of emotion. a really good write. keep it up
1 - 6 of 6