An
incision
from my
neck
to
my navel
reveals the
perplexity beneath
my skin. My chest is dense
with batteries and spare
parts but not a single
vein leads to my
absent heart;
in its place,
inert and
dull, lurks
a chunk of
artificial brain.
Suggestions? Thoughts? Criticism? Feelings? Unrelated stories? I'll take them all.
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Brr...This made me shiver. The imagery was FLOORING, and the ending...wow. This kind of creeped me out, but in a good-creepy-poem kind fo way. Again, brr.
[haunting] -
This is a very interesting piece. Thanks for writing it.
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I think its wonderful the way it is.
I think its beautiful and kind of robotic.
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wow. robotic yet not . i love it as is ... no criticism necessary ... go on with your bad self ...
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Impressive. . . I understand it, but at the same time, I'm totally confused! keep it up!
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wow, that's really really impressive. way to go. I do wonder though how it pertains to (or if it does) to something in your life . . . but then, I'm crazily curious and an ass like that. either way, good job
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this is such a beautifuly written poem, it's amazing!
i really quite love it (:
good work!
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holy crap that's amazing
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i love this write an amazing write
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the spacing is flawless, your word choice is intriguing. my interpretation of this is probably not what you were going for, but i love it.
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Hmm, I'm not really sure I quite understand what this poem is trying to say, but it created some very interesting mental images. It kind of makes me think of the tin man from the wizard of oz, how he was without a heart (lol which probably is not what you were going for..but it's what it reminded me of). Anyhow, great write, very intriguing!
~gracing smile~
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I got the image of someone speaking from a voicebox the way it was written. Very nice piece. It all fits. Keep it up.
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Very nice(Borat voice)
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Nice
Really like the imagery here and the no ryhme, which is rare for my tastes. It fits the poem well. Nice write!
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