There upon the rustic hilltop
encased in a cloud of fog
stood a majestic old lighthouse
appearing as perfect as a painting
built mostly of native stone
standing many stories tall.
The yard surrounding it all
with paved stones creating
a very rustic path with charm
the yard being shaded well
partly by the tamerisk
and century old fig trees.
There along side the lighthouse
stood a small house with a fireplace
wood stacked to keep it warm
for the keeper who stayed there
and also to ensure he would
to be ab le to light the light at dark.
Each night he climbed lots of stairs
winding slowly to the top
and there in the round, window
he would light a fire so bright
the ships could see it
from many miles away!
Below it, a rocky seabed surrounds
giving way to a sandy lagoon
then around a few jagged rocks
leading out to a shallow sea
that eventualy will empty
into the nearest ocean!
The lighthouse was created long ago
its shape unique, unlike others
so ships would know where they were
far upon the water in the darkness
where most nights were foggy
and a few were moonless!
There are many tales
surrounding that of the lighthouse
telling of many lives saved
and the few that were lost
all because of that bright light!
It was truly a miracle in it's time
and is still being used today
as many captain's still make claims
if not for the fire in the lighthouse,
he'd not been seen again!
A contest entry
- imagery; lighthouse. by Ryno.
400 points, ended November 25, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I little too descriptive and bland at the first, I felt like you were just descriping the picture and not putting anything behind it until I came upon the actual story you were writing with the picture. And, I liked the story.
I just feel like this write could've been more creative with the phrasing and the ideas, and that it lacked imagery and powerful emotion...it just wasn't that strong on a piece.
Thank-you for the entry. -
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I agree with you. My heart wasn't in this write. So I scribbled something with intentions on returning and editing but my health and time didn't allow it. Thanks for the critque' and for having the contest. Rose
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I love this! but, I love lighthouses, too
best wishes in contest.
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I loved this
truly a sweet write, and well informed!
thank you for sharing Sweet friend,
Blessings
Rend
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