The love as a child ive never had,
The riches of the world ive seen around,
The love i send out to the people who care
Isn't enough, after all these years.
My mother was gone,
the tears ive cried
My father, was dead, always in my head
My sister grew fond of being alone
And my little brother never seemed so cold
Eventually the dogs, too turned away,
From loving a love who was never to stay,
My room grew quiet,
And my tears grew loud
But noone heard such a sound
Alone ill die, Alone ill stay
Becouse loved like a lover,
Was never meant to stay
Does it stink?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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wow!!!!!!!!!
great poem tay1 eally great!!!!!!!!
keep up tha amazing work will you!?
lol.
kay well' by e4 now.
luv yah!!!!
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Free flowing form a twist here and there. You own creative styel. Well done. As you go along you will keep developing ideas to use in your poems. It's a great fun journey. check second last line..because..
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I think this is really good.
The part that says "Alone i'll die, Alone i'll stay"
is exactly how I feel almost everyday. I can totally relate.
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Welcome to AllPoetry
I don't think it stinks. I think you need to do a little refining. I am not sure on specifics just yet. I think the syllable count needs to be more even if you aren't going to have a rhyme scheme. Best of luck to you.
Lady Altheia
site greeter -
this is really well done! i love it! well you could put apostrophies on the i'ves. other than that great job!
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