Midnight eyes now swollen
From the tears she’s cried
You ask her how she’s doing
And she simply says "I’m fine"
Yet deep inside she’s hurting
Her face says it all
You walk right on past her
And her tears begin to fall
Her heart is torn in two
She wonders why she tries
Cause every time she thinks about him
She just simply cries
Her life is far from perfect
She knows just what she needs
Yet her heart’s still broken
Send him home she pleads.
Author notes
Llamas own
A contest entry
- Anything Goes! by vampireblood.
475 points, ended November 15, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Lovely piece of writing.
Her sweet heart is broken
She wonders why she tries
Cause every time she thinks about him
She just simply cries
Cheers,
Fayfreire
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This Is Deep
I got to give you props for this. I feel the pain and I wish that I could actually see the feeling in this. You have a quality in your poems that just screams for readers and listeners. I really think that you are gifted. Don't mind me though, I just love good talent and I like great poetry.
You are one of the reasons that there is an Allpoetry site. It is poetslike you who make it worthwhile. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.
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I will not say that I know how you feel, for only a woman who has been in your place will ever truly know. But I can feel your emotion, your loss and the pearls of bitter anguish as they fall from your cheeks.
This poem is filled to overflowing with your emotions and the fear of what you might lose.
You have walked to the well of sorrows
Though you are strong, your heart is filled with dread
For your man is not here to hold your hand
As you take this walk your heart prays he is not dead
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this poem is really good(:
i can see the emotion! -
Whoa!
Your poem tell of the anguish in your heart for that love that is away. Such torment! I hope he returns soon. Good write. You left your heart on the page.
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wow. if it's about the war, i know what you feel. my cousin whom i've bonded with for like ever, is in this war. i hate all people, just hate them with a passion, who could deal the possibility of him being taken away to me. every day i wish to talk to him. i barely get a phone call. even when he's on leave in washington right now he won't talk to me. Great Job!
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~Hugs~
I have no idea what you must be going through... I couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like to wonder where, my husband is, how he is etc... day in and day out.
Bless you and your family -
*AmBeR*
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This is really good. I enjoyed it. The rhythm of the poem was perfect. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
Vampy
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