Her soft touch steals
into my dreams
illuminating vagrant
scenes.
She speaks to me
in words of silence
about hope and love;
abhorring violence.
She comforts,
then moves on
in deference to
the rising dawn.
Author notes
Prompt: Where does the moon travel
and why does it change courses
Picture Credit: Artist Unknown
15 – 35 words (35 used 
)
abhor - to regard with extreme repugnance or aversion; detest utterly; loathe
deference - respectful submission or yielding to the judgment, opinion, will, etc., of another.
A contest entry
- Preying Moon by misticmoonlite.
470 points, ended November 17, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
I think this would be a really good song. Especially if you have it a really accustic(sp) guitar feel and made it a really light alt. rock ballad sort of thing. I love the word choice.
-
-
Needs a chorus but who knows? LOL Thank you for the kind words and read...
Ken
-
-
Very beautiful.
I particularly like "Her soft touch steals
into my dreams"
A wonderful opening to the poem.
-
this is a beautiful poem. I particularly love the first 4 lines
. the imagery is fantastic. I love your take on this prompt. thanks for the definition of the word..
good luck
kat
-
Very nice!
Very good short poem -- the rhymes work well here! Nicely worded and it flows well! However, the rhythm is broken up by your line end stops that sometimes come when they are not expected! For example, I would change your last stanza to:
She comforts, then moves on
in deference to the rising dawn.
This suggested structure allows a rhythm that is more normal and is better all around, because end line stops are best used to catch one's breath or for some emphasis! Think about it! Very good job, though!t
-
Such a sweet write. The moon is ever beautiful, and it guides our steps ever onward.
Grammatical error...5th line. 'speak' should be 'speaks'.
A lovely little moment of beauty and peace. Well done!
-
-
I've read this a dozen times and never saw it... Thank you for the correction, as well as the read and the comment... I appreciate it
-
-
anytime! you're a great poet!
-
-
-
This is so beautiful! This is nicely written and I enjoyed the read. Good luck in the contest
-
Wow what beautiful words. Good luck in the contest
-
wow!! this sure put a glow into her behavior,lol you did a real impressive piece here, thank you for this entry, good luck
Linda
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
