Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

elizabeth's revenge

once there was a little girl named elizabeth. she was a quiet polite little girl with the most beautiful black hair, skin as white as the snow, and cheeks red as blood. she lived in the empty house on top of the hill. no one was in the home with her, but she was never lonely. she had her lieberkinns.

"who takes care of you?" her teacher would ask

"Tode" she would say, and nothing more

she was good in school and so polite, that the teacher did not care when her mind wandered and she drew in her class. she always passed the tests, and always answered her practice questions, and her drawings were so beautiful, if not a little strange

but some little boys and girls are not polite. and some have parents who teach them that strange things are not right

the girls would sometimes say mean things to her. little boys would pull her hair, or push her down. so beth sat alone and ignored them, but the teacher insisted she play with the others. even though she only felt lonely when the other children were around. but she stayed calm and polite and quiet, and went home every day to be alone with her lieberkinns

as beth grew more and more distant from the other children they became more cruel, and soon beth's strange beautiful drawings became dark and brooding. she would not look out at the lovely flowers and birds outside the window, she looked straight ahead at the teacher as her crayon moved slowly across the paper

then one day, billy, a particularly nasty young boy took her precious stuffed bunny rabbit and would not give him back. he tore lieberkinns apart, and kept one of his big black button eyes.

"what are you drawing now dear?" asked the teacher

there on the paper, a one eyed rabbit ripped a boy apart and plucked out his eye.

the next week, billy's mother fell ill. the teacher had her suspicions, but, no, that's just silly. beth was a polite quiet little girl.

nothing more happened for a while. until one day, the mother of a girl named katie came to school. katie was an important girl. she was wealthy, and had the best dresses and dolls. she often made fun of lieberkinns, and the poor repairs beth had made to him. her mother was just as nasty.

she mocked beth as their paths crossed near the school

"such a filthy little thing you're holding, did a hobo make that for you?" the woman cried out, leaning for her life against a statue.

"Tode," beth whispered. a tear rolled down her cheek, for now she felt lonely.

the teacher saw another of her drawings. a man was holding a woman in the bottom of a lake of her own tears. as people stood along the shoreline laughing at her.

later that week, katie's mother drowned in her bath tub.

it was too much. the teacher had to say something.

after she told a few people, word spread fast. a town meeting was held. as head of her house, beth wanted to go, but not knowing what the meeting was about, it would have been improper to arrive unprepared.

"she killed my wife!" shouted one man

"our store collapsed because of her!" shouted a woman

it seemed everyone had an accusation to make against her, some grievance to show, and the teacher could not deny that many of them had been in beth's drawings.

"and who is this Todd she always talks about?

"is he her father?"

"i think he's the devil, and she's his daughter!"

"it's why she's cursed!"

more accusations and paranoia spread throughout the room, until finally it was decided that she must be dealt with.

beth watched the people come up to her house. she was happy to have guests, but she was yet unprepared for so many.

but they were not visiting for dinner.

a man named james beely, the leader of the mob, stepped forward. "alright, let's send her back to hell!" he threw a cocktail of petrol into the window, and the rest threw their bombs as well. together they watched as it went up in flames

as they watched the fire purify their town, some felt regret, no one spoke of it, and for days the town was quiet and solemn.

life went on for months, nothing changed, nothing was better, nothing was worse. cars had flats. children got sick. cats ate birds.

the police discovered that billy had poured something in his mother's food, not knowing it would hurt her, and that katie's mother had been passed out drunk when she drowned in her home

life had not gotten better like the people thought it would. their dismal normal lives were not suddenly fulfilling or easy.

then one day, months after the incident, there was a brutal murder. the mayor had been stabbed to death. on his wall, written in blood, was a simple introduction. 'Ich bin Tod. I am looking for my sister'

fear spread through the town. no one went out at night. they locked their doors and bars were put up on the windows. the blacksmith took on three new apprentices to handle the work.

but it was not enough. three days later, james beely was found dead, stabbed in the same way as the mayor, with another message, a simple, fair, question. 'where is my sister?'

another emergency meeting was called. the people were in a panic. no one was safe in the town, they had all taken part in the crime, and the few who tried to leave had been sent back dead.

but their worries were over. the door to the town hall opened, and beth walked in.

the town rejoiced, they had an answer for Tod.

"we're saved!"

"beth! go tell your brother you're alright!"

but beth's face did not share their happiness.

she stepped aside and pointed. "Tode"

a tall young man entered. his fingers were like daggers, and his eyes were like fire, burning with hate. he dropped a knapsack full of petrol cocktails on the floor.

"A word of advice," Tod muttered, "Quiet, polite, little girls learn their manners from their brothers, and their brothers love them very much."

Author notes

the problem with these kinds of stories is that it's hard to maintain the creepiness and moral confusion going in the few paragraphs between the first twist, and the ending twist.
i'm not making any judgement calls on wether or not Tod is evil, i don't think he is.
and speaking of Tod, his name is pronounced tode, and the d is almost a t, but not quite. it means death

strange things are not bad

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • draagyn
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    love it!!
    I agree with dustookie-"sad".
    This definitely had me itching for more as well.
    love it!!


    • Mr Majenta gold member
      December 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      i still don't get what's sad about it, beth doesn't die, her brother comes back, everyone is happy.


  • dustookie2
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Perhaps it is just my mood but I feel more sad then creepy....then you have pinned me with something I have carried since childhood ...*crying*just pass the tissues. You spin a good tale. I would like to see consistency with your use of capitals ... or you may have been using my keyboard. I know you held my attention through to the ending as you directed the movie playing out in my head. Hate it when you do this I want more ..... the revenge of Tode in detail. Brilliant message a lesson some need to learn in life.Keep that twisted mind working