if only I could have grown more sturdy
less likely to sway
in every wind
or to topple head-first
in the rain
if only my core
could hold me steady
(rock solid and planted firm
within your angular drum)
i would rise from this mud
to finger paint skies
in colors you love.
Author notes
needs a bit of revision work.
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Sometimes the ones that sway are less likely to break in the strongest winds though. Go on ..sway a bit
(I think I just sounded like a fortune cookie, didn't I..lol )
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nice
This has such earthy tones and yet it seeks to paint the sky. A beautiful write as usual! Wonder how I have been missing your wonderful writes?
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i often come across poems of yours like this that when i start out they don't seem to have anything i haven't heard before and then i finish and re-read because it really all seems new. very good on you. -s
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beautifully written with outstanding imagery. Loved this.
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P.S. What is his angular drum like? What is his personality aspect that is like an angular drum? I think a definition of this would help with a revision.
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The roof of childhood once seeming sturdy, I used to feel so safe inside,as I defied the rain, thought the whispers of the rain held the voice of a gentle future. But the drum of my heartbeat never seems louder than the thunder of fate, and she who would finger paint a destiny is lost in the mud...my reaction in the voice of the "you" person. Not sure about a revison yet.
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can we have MORE please?
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Dear one, you have strong roots and I'm sure enough sap to keep you strong in all sorts of wind for a long time to come. Nice to see you here Bethany, you've been gone almost as long as I have.
D
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so beautiful
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Stunning work. Sure was good to see you post.
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i really like this.. it is so good to see your name in the in box.
m
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This made me think of a strong oak tree. That's the first thing that popped into my head. I could be off the mark, but if you want to be a tree hey that's cool! I'll sit under your shade, talk to you water you...and protect you! after all that's what friends are for!
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this had an awesome trance like feel to it. And i have always like the e.e cummings style, always seems to flow well, easy like on the eyes.
well done write, i love reading your work. much love and respect to you
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