Raindrops on branches
Glisten, swelling pregnantly
Joining fallen leaves
In a list
A contest entry
- 48 hours to Haiku by azure85.
900 points, ended November 21, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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so I think I get it...Hakiu is three lines, nothing rhymes and it's beautiful and effective? if so you got it all right here. I really like this. It's very elegant and the middle line is my fave. I can just imagine the raindrop growing as gravity pulls it down and it's sitting atop a leaf or something. It rains here alot and I just love the rain. wish I could pause the world and collect them and put them in a jar or something...but freeze them so they don't die or turn into regular boring normal water...
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Mine are attempts at traditional haiku. The have 5 syllables in the first and third lines and 7 syllables in the middle line. Don't use mine for examples. Most people that are good at this form do not like mine. I dont think I am abstract enough.
Thanks for reading and commenting. I am glad you enjoyed this one.
Mike -
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hmm *writes that down* I'll give it a try. I think urs is far more beautiful. n ppl jus r jealous is all
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As gentle a poem as the images it conjures. Lovely word play.
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Thank you for reading and commenting. I am glad you enjoyed the poem.
Mike
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Raindrops on branches
Glisten, swelling pregnantly
Joining fallen leaves
Very nice haiku, with the slow droplets of rain seen on the branches and leaves. Thank you so much.
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loved it! Haikus have always marveled me. I find that this is succint and at the same time profound.
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Thank you very much for reading and commenting. Maybe I am finally getting the hang of this form.
Mike
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normally i hate haikus with a passion... actually this is the only one i have ever read that i liked... and i LOVE it. i particularly loved the imagery of raindrops swelling pregnantly... i had never thought of it that way but that has just worded it beautifully. a fantastic piece,
hugs,
georgie,
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I am glad you liked it. I hated haiku when I first was introduced to them. They are the only non-rhyming poems that I do. Thank you very much for reading and commenting.
Mike
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"swelling pregnantly"
Great idea- intereresting and visual.
This idea is more complete than some haikus I have read. Some people (including me) try to use too many ideas and in three lines the grammar suffers.
Nice work, luck in contest!
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Thank you for commenting. I have had a problem with haiku in the past. I tried it a while back and was told that I should not use a traditional format and that I have no business writing them because I suck.
I keep trying. And I keep it traditional.
Mike -
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Oh my life, that person was a dick!
This poem is great anyway, but even if someone does do a bad poem, they should be encouraged to do better, not ridiculed and called crap!
luck in contest once again. =) -
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I agree with you. I always try to find something good to say.
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Yes rain drops do look bigger when they run down the brnchs. Great haiku
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Oh my life, that person was a dick!
This poem is great anyway, but even if someone does do a bad poem, they should be encouraged to do better, not ridiculed and called crap!
luck in contest once again.
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I was watching them today in the woods. They just kept growing and getting bigger until they fell under their own weight.
Mike
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Great!
I really like this. It's simple, yet compelling. -
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Thank you. I was walking in the woods in the rain today and it came to me. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Mike
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