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Haiku






under moon glow
laughter of skinny dippers
at the swimming hole.








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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • withering.whisper
    September 21

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    lol. this is a very lovable haiku. its so relaxing, and just speaks life to the readers. congratulations on the bronze and take care!

  • hendiadys
    September 20
    Edit | Reply

    Nice

    You could, under current conventions, have allowed yourself one more syllable, eg "under the full moon"

  • i like this its funny

  • a good piece of poetry - ah the fun times of life, to strip away all the daily cares and dive into reflection light.

  • Bravo!

    Good Ku here haijin! Glad you won that Bronze.
    This is certainly a vivid pix! IMHO this last line:

    at the swimming hole. could stand nicely as:
    'swimming hole' I see you were keeping to the trad syllable count here, but as it stands to me this looks more like a 3 line poem than a ku, unless you edit as I suggest. Haiku is going through many morphs don't you think? Some use caps, different syllable counts, punctuation..& here I am giving you suggestions & I'm still working on powerful 'aha' moments! I enjoyed this!


  • azure85 gold member
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    under moon glow
    laughter of skinny dippers
    at the swimming hole.

    A little swim in the moonlight, and the sound of nature's delight. A fun haiku, thank you so much.


    • Swan song gold member
      November 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for the bronze Any positive consideration from you I feel is a very good compliment


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    November 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very vivid picture I'm getting LOL Great haiku


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a small poem that has a great big idea,lol, keep it flowing my friend, i like you haikus, good luck in the contest


  • Olivias Violin
    November 15, 2008
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1 - 10 of 10