Haiku: Hug
welcome to my hug
let me wrap you up warm as
a cardigan shrug
A contest entry
- 48 hours to Haiku by azure85.
900 points, ended November 21, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I really like how the words of imagery make you feel warm and safe , Nice !
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welcome to my hug
let me wrap you up warm as
a cardigan shrug
A delightful haiku to warm you inside and out with this chilly weather, thank you so much!
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This haiku was lovely to write, it made me smile. I am delighted that it also seems to evoke good feelings in the reader. Thank you for your complimentary comment.
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Sounds good. It's cold here.
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I hope it warmed your cockles!
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This is a warm, welcoming haiku. I enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing.
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I think of it as a hug in a package, that can be posted as you will. Thank you for your comments.
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ooh! that sounds nice in winter! i love this haiku. definately modern and it should go with the rest of history's haikus. great job!
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Oh you're BOUND to spark a debate now about whether this is really a haiku! Thank you - it's at least a week since we had one!
Welcome to AP.
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thank you for your welcoming words. I wonder when a haiku's not a haiku?
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Sorry to butt in, but this is indeed a haiku, be it a 'modern' one.
According to Wiki, haikus only have tp have 5 syllables in first line, 7 on second and 5 in third. And they're always made up of three lines.
As far as subject matter goes, traditionally they are about seasons or nature and have a change or transition marked by what is disclosed in the first or second line. However, as far as I know, this is only for the Asian, traditional haiku. Not for modern Western ones.
Hope this helps and please consider I am pretty new to poetry too, so this may not all be completely true. -
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Well, haiku don't always have to have seventeen syllables divided 5-7-5 (I often work in 4-5-4, because 17 syllables of English contain 30% more information than 17 syllables of Japanese). I'm not one to blow my own trumpet, but (dash) you might like to check out the following links:
http://allpoetry.com/column/show/2292955
http://allpoetry.com/column/show/2345931
http://allpoetry.com/list/44252-haiku
The last one is a list of my own haiku - my early ones are awful, my later ones are a little better.
"Modernity" in haiku is a controversial issue, mainly because it tends to lead further and further away from the roots of the form, and thus further from its essence. And people also tend to write "bad" haiku and excuse it as "modern" (not saying this is the case here).
Basically, I would say that brevity of concept and content, being "of-the-moment", and having a subtle break at the end of (usually) the first or second line, marks out a haiku. Three lines and seventeen syllables is simply three lines and seventeen syllables.
M
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Thank you for your comprehensive comment. I know little more about haikus than that some people know a great deal. I am paddling in the shallows of a great tradition. I have, though, enjoyed the discipline of the form as a means of crystallizing thoughts. I am enjoying the prospect of learning more. Most of my poetry is in other forms - I plan to post more, in time. Meanwhile, I am glad to have entered this community of poets and glad of the feedback received. Again, thank you.
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TBH, I didn't know very much about haikus before.
Thanks for the info- I will check out your stuff soon.
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Butt, you are welcome to. "images of things you can smell, taste, touch or feel" was my brief, understanding.
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As far as I know, there is a great deal more to it than that.
However, that sounds like the description of the kind of poetry I like to read, so I am not going to be the dogmatic rulemaster of the haiku.
Write what you like!
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