Prison blues,
Clock ticking
Slowly,
Passes time
Watching walls,
Resentful, Restless, Relentless,
Waiting,
Months passing
Days become lifetimes,
Lifetimes become days,
Throwing thoughts
Bouncing around perspex walls
Clanging gates,
Released,
Stunned, Cannot believe,
Finally Free
Author notes
Next challenge: stealing this from the contest I just entered... 25 words or less without using simple words like [a, the, this, but, and, you, I, me]... I'm probably leaving out crucial ones, but I don't know. See what you can do with just those words as taboo
A contest entry
- Poetry Challenge (Look Inside) by LadyDeMarco.
700 points, ended November 23, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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greate poem, you truely deserve the trophy, i bet its tuff being in jail, you poem described it all,
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This was like me when i was in a group home. i would be locked in my room awaiting the days when i would get out.
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Wow great stuff!!!
Great narrative, rhythm & flow with an emotional depth that was simply breathtaking...
Congrats on a well deserved Gold...
Well penned, well versed, well done!!!
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this actually hits home for me, because i know innocent people that were thrown in jail... one for 2 years, i believe, and one for 6 months, but i know those 6 months felt like forever. great write.
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Days become lifetimes,
Lifetimes become days,
This really did it for me! I can't imagine being locked away from family and friends for any amount of time let alone years that has to be awful. And Adjusting to life afterwards has to be hard to do as well. I know getting relationships back in order and finances and all that has to be a painful process and no one wants to help because of your past. Brother, stay strong and never give up because that is what "they" want you to do, so in their own self righteousness they can say "I told you so!" don't give them that satisfaction!!!!!! -
I'll be back!
Peace Georgia
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this is amazing, sp very well put together
resentful restless relentless, stunning lines,really makes the reader feel
bravo
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I can feel this with you, its hard isnt it? But thank God you are finally out and youa re able to enjoy the freedom of life. Love the way you have written this poem too! Very clever!
God bless,
Love and light,
Lencio
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im trying not to be biased on this one... but hon u did a fantastic job!!! i tried to read it from the perspective of a stranger and still... i just love it. very powerful and intense and i can just imagine how you were feeling at the time,
loads of love,
georgie,
xxx -
THEBESTTHIBGSINLIFEAREFREE
A very poinient piece depicting the terrible drudgery of incarceration ...Good use of minamilist style ...excellent imagery
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this is really great, i like how you wrote this, it must have been really difficult but you pulled it off very well, just amazing, best of luck in the the contest
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Shane
Though I have never done time I have had a brother that did 3 terms & friends that did hard time. They knew the hardships as others dare not. I wish you all the best in the free world.
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I have seen these contests before. I am a big user of the words that they banned in this one. I dont think I could pull it off. You did a great job.
Mike
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Wonderful Write
You have penned a very nice poem for the contest without using those fill in words. A pleasure to read this morning. Wonderful imagery. Take care.
Sandy
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