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On a scrap torn from your book


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

There is a golden, molten, fast-flowing river,

the words in my mind, the minted-silver whispers at my lips,

already dying to an echo at conception.

 

Between them and the poor page, a kind of soft,

seismic happening has taken, shaken, panicked my hand,

and my pen tarantellas to the insane bongo-drumming

of my pulse, as the idea of you mutes me.

 

The music has your AMDG monogrammed on it,

and my inarticulate response scrawled

at the foot of the manuscript – beautiful, beautiful…

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Author notes

"AMDG" -"Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam”, which means “To the greater glory of God”. It was the motto of the Jesuits, but coincidentally was the inscription at the head of compositions by J S Bach (and, I believe, Sir Edward Elgar). This note is to someone who is both a poet and a musician.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 32 of 32

  • Dalaney gold member
    November 21, 2008

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    No "roses are red, violets are blue" kind of notes from you
    This goes above and beyond - a truly beautiful love note. Thank you for entering, Mairi. Love, Lane


  • Bazza
    November 20, 2008

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    The voice of Mairi Bheag, clear, articulate and a force of passions underlying the whole adventure. Loved it.


  • IronMaiden1236
    November 17, 2008
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    My head sings and my brain is having warm fuzzzies!!


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 17, 2008

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    wow this was interesting, but still it had something behind it and that is what i like about poems, the best ones always do, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    November 16, 2008
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  • Mirthryl
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely progression, "golden, molten" to "minted-silver" to "already dying to an echo" as words fail to give adequate expression to mind and heart.
    Delightful "seismic happening" with "tarantellas to insane bongo-drumming" counterpointed by "the idea of you mutes me." Excellent allusion to J S Bach [I was not familar with the Jesuit motto], before whom I would also be "inarticulate," scrawling "beautiful, beautiful!"
    Excellent description of the tumultuous feelings of delight, praise and adoring of outstanding gifts poured into soul-lifting creative expression.


  • Beating gold member
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I had to read this very slowly, to actually get its meaning (English is not my mother tongue), which doesn't actually happen often here at Allpoetry. I loved that this wasn't just the straightforward lines of other poets, as I've read so often. My favourite part has to be the opening lines, which I could somehow relate to. Good job!

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      November 17, 2008
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      I'm a poet; I try to use language in ways that haven't been used before, but that the readers can still understand. If I don't do that, then I am copying instead of creating. I am glad you understand.

  • silverfish
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Corripe Cervisiam

    (seize the beer) that's the only latin i knew other than that jarhead thing carpi diem. now i have one more latin phrase to impress . . . librarians, i guess. i'm thinking also about all the precious metal (silver. gold.) along side muted yearnings, longings, passions and all of it barely beneath the surface (seismic. pulse.), temblors from the deep rich veins finding expression not in inarticulate voice but in living words. no dead languages of the heart. -silvercoinfish


  • Randomly Beautiful
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well, Since you don't want someone to say it is gold, I will say this: It is the best I've read thus far in this contest. Is that okay to say?


  • Pure Thought silver member
    November 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Another inarticulate comment

    Beautiful, beautiful


  • PerVirtuous
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this very much. You like summer breezes and I like hurricane winds, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate a lazy afternoon here or there.


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      November 15, 2008
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      If it occurred to me to raise a hurricane I'd raise a hurricane, A-of-the-H. Glad you like.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    November 15, 2008

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    So make it difficult for the rest of us why don't you!!!

    (looks in bag for letters to puzzle amaze and confuse)
    NB,OSIBG,NBTBG,FY!!!


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    November 15, 2008

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    Nothing I can say other than.. a simply outstanding write!! I felt it deeply.


  • poppa
    November 15, 2008

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    wonderful... sure we've all had people that have left as utterly speechless...
    And just wanted to thank you again, I found solace in your comment


  • notorious
    November 15, 2008
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    You are not playing fair.

    This is...

    Fuck, I don't have words to tell you how fucking good this is.

    Gold much?!!!!!!!!!!

    *is incensed*


    Jessica

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      November 15, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      The easy answer, Jessica, when I don't play fair, is just to tell me it's going to win gold (like you did). That's like sticking a pin into a wax model of the poem - it never fails to consign it to the HMs (at best)!

      I am sorry you are incensed, but glad you think it's good.

      • notorious
        November 15, 2008

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        I was kidding about being incensed.
        I had to bookmark this; I have to come back in a few eras to tell you in more...cohesive words what I thought.

        *takes pin out*

        Okay...I'll talk to Lane and tell her to dismiss my comment.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    November 15, 2008
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    In a word: exquisite.

    All the best,
    mj.


  • Amera gold member
    November 15, 2008
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    Not bad! I didn't know you were a Jesuit!

    Love,
    Amera

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      November 15, 2008
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      I didn't know I was either. Am I?

      LOL - I knew it from Bach before I realised it was also the Jesuit motto. Thanks for the "not bad".

      • chordphrute
        November 20, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        beautiful, babygirl ...


        I adore you.

        your New Orleans


        • Mairi bheag gold member
          November 20, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          I am glad you visited, and I am glad you found it beautiful, sweetheart.

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