Do you know
how much I wish I was you?
You're perfect
In everyone's eyes
Yet you tear yourself apart
Every fucking day
And I stand here speechless
Watching you eat your own heart
And still
You're perfect
Author notes
You asked me to enter, so I did. Not my typical poem, but I like how it came out.
A contest entry
- Seven Sins. by Walking Oxymoron.
700 points, ended November 24, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options! most anything goes! by Thendestinystruck.
550 points, ended January 6, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the biggest prewrite contest ever by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 18, 362 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I'm not gonna bite you if you don't like it. BE HONEST.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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A very short and to the point poem! but the beauty of it never waivered!
Thanks for entering! -
very
very nice
i feel like this sometimes
sometimes im the person
sometimes im not
but amazing
and congrats
=]]
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Oohh wow. This was different than poems you usually write and I absolutely loved it!
You completely captured the sin of 'envy'. I liked the bitterness and jealousy that was lodged into this piece. Envy is such a powerful emotion...
*And I stand here speechless
Watching you eat your own heart
And still
You're perfect*
Those four lines were my favorites -- they really jumped out at me. I love the idea of somebody 'eating their own heart', yet still being amazingly perfect.
Gahhh, another beautiful write
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Aw, thanks so much!
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I like how it came out. This is an excellent write!
Made me breathe in sharp....
Watch you eat your own heart.
Great line. I know so many people like this...and you're right. You do stand there speechless. Cos what else CAN you do? -
>.< this reminds me of my ex. she thinks she's such a horrible person and she just destroys herself, inside and out... yet everyone can see she is about as perfect as a person as you can get.
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Envy
is sad because unless you have been everywhere all the time, you don't know what or how they got what you envy! We all have special traits and I believe that we are supposed to find those and use them as best as we can. You seem really nice, but I am only starting to know you! Good luck in the contest, The Shaker
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