A bed
in a stagnant room
waiting;
a spider
scurries about
busy above
ambiguously
guarding
a dark crack;
black eyes
peering out
while life closes in.
Watching me
watching her
concur.
There is a pin prick of light
demanding attention
deep in the abyss
she calls home.
I am
drawn in
to this tiny world
left standing beneath her;
she waves a mandible
through the darkness
parting a black nothing.
That I might evolve.
That I might understand.
That I might see
blue and purple gases,
a nebula beating
among a million stars
pulsing forth
a life force
to every soul,
touching
every living matter
great and small
scattered
about the universe.
Through a door
exiting
to the street
far below my dark
crack of solitude;
I see the people
I have always seen,
the birds,
a rat in the trash,
a cat ready to attack
and I understand:
We are all connected
in a world
much bigger
than ourselves.
Author notes
Prompt: celebration of future or mourning wasted moments
In a list
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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OMG spiders creep me out so bad but i would never kill one or anything that was given life. this is so perfect the way you tie everything alive into the energy of the universe and focus the energy onto one timy creature. lovely
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Okay, I'm still scared of spiders... but I'll think twice before callously killing them.
I echo all the sentiment of the previous comments,and add this. It made me think of the movie "The Incredible Shrinking Man". Not for the spider reference, but for Scott Carey's last lines in the film.
"And I felt my body dwindling, melting, becoming nothing. My fears locked away and in their place came acceptance. All this vast majesty of creation, it had to mean something. And then I meant something, too. Yes, smaller than the smallest, I meant something, too. To God there is no zero. I still exist."
Write On!
jIM
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I like that quote and find it perfect for this piece, thank you
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You're welcome
I cheated and looked it up rather than rely on my often faulty memory.
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wow... This is absolutly beautiful!
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I loved reading this! Hated to see it end. We are all apart of the same space...it's too bad, more can't see. Beautiful write!
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Wonderful!
An amazing trip into the depths. Very evocative imagery and metaphor (like: "Watching me / watching her / concur." ). Congrats on the Front Page highlight!
I like the scalar comparisons (spider to nebula). Also the inclusion of "harsher" elements ("stagnant room", "dark crack", "rat in the trash", "cat ready to attack"). It is nice to see an example of thought that includes the valuation of all forms of life and being-ness, and does not attempt to exclude the less delightful or less palatable elements as being inconsistent with the beauty of All That Is.
These parts are so cool: "ambiguously / guarding / a dark crack;" ; "she waves a mandible ... / That I might evolve. / ... understand. / ... see"
You may wish to add a period at the end of "That I might see" for consistency.
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Thank you for this evaluation. you have an incredible eye for detail (A very welcome anomaly here on AP). The period missing is a result off the dual meaning: First, it is a sentence by itself concluding the three sentence stanza. second, it is the beginning of the next stanza of imagery describing what is seen.
This is one of those places in poetry where there is no proper punctuation as I want a pause and no pause. My cake and eat it too.
Have A great day. -
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>>you have an incredible eye for detail
Thank you!
>>(A very welcome anomaly here on AP).
Sorry to hear that
>> The period ...
Aha! I should have seen that, given your use of capitalization. Makes good sense once you pointed it out. A "proper" use of poetic license, methinks! :-) You are welcome to have your cake and eat it also.
A perfectly penned poem (now that the not-really-errant period was pointed out to me) which I shall be adding to my "best of" list.
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Wow, this was brilliant.
Amazing use of metaphors & gorgeous imagery.
Very original in your thoughts & descriptions.
This was a wonderful read! -
Wow-
This is an awesome poem! I love your descriptions, and the poem drew me right in.
Your explorations of relationships and the universe was beautiful
~Paradox -
niceley written
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Size is so relative and we are so insignificantly small. I enjoyed this deeply thought out poem.
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So very pleased to see this wonderful poem on the Front Page. It is exceptional and deserves high recognition for thought process and life insight.
We are all connected by one life force, no matter how tall or short, no matter how big or small, no matter what.
Life is simply - life.
Excellent
Congratulations dear sweet soul! I am so proud of you. ~Pamela 
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Dear spider
My what wide eyes you have and how well you can see.Now what is the plan of attache?...mac
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I remember this...SIgh~
I loved it then and love it now...
but then I love everything you write
Lynda
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This was like a comatose breathe.. VERY nicely done..
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Loved the flow and progression of thoughts in this poem. Great job!
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Wow! very nice
Some people wouldn't notice such a small life or feel it holds any importance, I like the fact you do. -
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thank you,
yes the small life is no less life
therefor no less deserving respect.
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very nicely done, I love the imagery.
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thank my friend
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My goodness this is beautiful... a consciuosness expanding ride through the universe that explores our own unique connectivity to it all! Perfection!!!
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Thank you for your kind review
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definitely abstract yet provides such a visual feast for the reader to absorb.
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Now that was some good poetry I dont think i need to say anything else
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Yes indeed
We are the smallest thing against this whole univers we are no more or no less than any other living thing upon this earth and we should feel blessed to be here to guide ourselves yet what have we done I think we all need to take a good look around and get our house in order
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Perfect. ~Pamela
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