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panorama as a fire

`






Tied in a field
of cornhusks -

our dancing eyes glare
against each other's thoughts,
as minutes ballet into swan's lake.

Our star tirelessly waited
for words to slip out of tongue
and into the shed of a moment.

The rays of the sun asked
a favor for clouds to cry happiness,

and bodies ran
meeting a soul half way

underneath a hut
of bamboo roofs.








`

 

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Still editing and a few words from a reader won't harm

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Nam
    April 7
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    A nice poem that you have written here.

    -Nam


  • Heart Sutra
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There are always rich images and feeling evoked from your poetry. Thank you for entering the contest.


  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    November 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    like Nicolette, I like how you used ballet as a verb...this is more like a pas de deux and I like how you used 'swan's lake' as a metaphor.

    The rays of the sun asked
    a favor for clouds to cry happiness,

    I love these lines a lot
    they glorify the whole experience
    of what you wrote

  • tara wilson gold member
    November 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i love this, i have missed your poetry so much


  • Nicolette gold member
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a lovely metaphorical poem and the continuity of the metaphor was done so very well. I love the way you've applied "ballet" as a verb here, Hensley - wonderful!

    And so good to see you posting again, my friend!

    ~ Nicolette

1 - 5 of 5