I awake and open my eyes
to the moan i let out of you gripping my thighs.
the monster you hold in your mouth puts in over time
to make this 17 year old virgin cry.
Im pushing down on your head
as im jumping
trying to make you stop
but you pull me back into position,
So i guese i have no other choice but to go ahead and give up submission.
Who are you?
those are the words that crept into my mind
as your making me engage into this sexual crime.
The more i whimper
the more
you devourer me,
you demolish me,
you tease me,
you please me.
You make me a victim,
a slave to your touch.
You make me quiver
with
every lick,
every taste,
every move
that you make.
Author notes
quiver voier whimper
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this is not finished and this is the first poem that i have put on here in a while but i will get to again but 4 now tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Hot...I love it
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I like the last two stanzas of this, they are my favourites of the poem, especially the bit about becoming a slave to their touch, that is something I can definitely identify with!
There are, however, some issues with parts of it, mainly spelling and punctuation. You need to capitalise 'i' quite a few times in the poem. Also, 'im' should be 'I'm' and 'guese' should be 'guess'.
In the line, 'as your making me engage into this sexual crime' you should have 'you're' not 'your' as it is a contraction of 'you are'. Finally, 'devourer' I think should be 'devour'.
I think if you concentrate on the spelling and punctuation it will make the whole poem read a lot better and be more enjoyable. -
Sweetass poem, seriously put's you in the mood!!
then it just stop's! I hope you have the rest soon..
awesome job though, your really talented
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Thank u
Thank u for the comment and i will b finishing it soon so i hope dat u will come back and finish it
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wow
i loved this.... it is depressing that u dont have more to it... you paint a lovely picture. then the picture ends.... you need to add more....
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THANK YOU SO MUCH IM GOING TO GET AROUND TO FINISHING IT BUT IM GLAD THAT YOU LIKED WHAT I HAD SO FAR
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i just think that you should add more to it
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Yea i havent got around 2 it yet but i am real soon thank u 4 the comment luv ya
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Jaw Propper!!!
You've done it once again, baby girl! Don't Stop Wit It!!!!
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thank you!!!!!!!!
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Je Tiame
what you have is amazing
Very inticing and un forgetable
Very sensual and erotic
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thank you
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u g2 finish this one its waaaay good
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lol ok i will thank you
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oh hell baby girl i start licking my lips finish this poem gal this gets me excited
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