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Awoken By Unexspected Pleasure

I awake and open my eyes
to the moan i let out of you gripping my thighs.
the monster you hold in your mouth puts in over time
to make this 17 year old virgin cry.
Im pushing down on your head
as im jumping
trying to make you stop
but you pull me back into position,
So i guese i have no other choice but to go ahead and give up submission.
Who are you?
those are the words that crept into my mind
as your making me engage into this sexual crime.

The more i whimper
the more
you devourer me,
you demolish me,
you tease me,
you please me.
You make me a victim,
a slave to your touch.

You make me quiver
with
every lick,
every taste,
every move
that you make.

 

Author notes

quiver voier whimper

this is not finished and this is the first poem that i have put on here in a while but i will get to again but 4 now tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15
  • Hot...I love it

  • I like the last two stanzas of this, they are my favourites of the poem, especially the bit about becoming a slave to their touch, that is something I can definitely identify with!

    There are, however, some issues with parts of it, mainly spelling and punctuation. You need to capitalise 'i' quite a few times in the poem. Also, 'im' should be 'I'm' and 'guese' should be 'guess'.

    In the line, 'as your making me engage into this sexual crime' you should have 'you're' not 'your' as it is a contraction of 'you are'. Finally, 'devourer' I think should be 'devour'.

    I think if you concentrate on the spelling and punctuation it will make the whole poem read a lot better and be more enjoyable.


  • fallenAngel86
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    Sweetass poem, seriously put's you in the mood!!
    then it just stop's! I hope you have the rest soon..
    awesome job though, your really talented

    • cherrysmile
      February 26
      Edit | Reply

      Thank u

      Thank u for the comment and i will b finishing it soon so i hope dat u will come back and finish it


  • DancingRain1692
    February 6

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    i loved this.... it is depressing that u dont have more to it... you paint a lovely picture. then the picture ends.... you need to add more....

    • cherrysmile
      February 9
      Edit | Reply
      THANK YOU SO MUCH IM GOING TO GET AROUND TO FINISHING IT BUT IM GLAD THAT YOU LIKED WHAT I HAD SO FAR


  • Purple Orchid
    January 4
    Edit | Reply
    i just think that you should add more to it

    • cherrysmile
      January 6
      Edit | Reply
      Yea i havent got around 2 it yet but i am real soon thank u 4 the comment luv ya


  • PoeticLion
    November 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Jaw Propper!!!

    You've done it once again, baby girl! Don't Stop Wit It!!!!


  • KelsBabez
    November 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Je Tiame

    what you have is amazing
    Very inticing and un forgetable
    Very sensual and erotic


  • Innocent-Lies
    November 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    u g2 finish this one its waaaay good


  • theredcatjazzoflove gold member
    November 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh hell baby girl i start licking my lips finish this poem gal this gets me excited

1 - 15 of 15