you touch my skin
and i die a little
tiny pinpricks
electricity runs through my veins
and i am a live wire
every time you whisper my name
with the syllables licking my ear
i die a little
i struggle to catch my breath
i am choking on anticipation
then your teeth bite my shoulder
i die a little
a thousand times
i long to feel you
dying inside of me
A contest entry
- i watched her die many times. by Death of the Author.
700 points, ended November 16, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
tiny pinpricks
electricity runs through my veins - I like that
syllables licing my ear - I like
choking on anticipation - I like
Punctuation would probably help, though that's just personal preference.
Maybe you could come up with a more imaginative title? I think they can really add a new dimension to a poem.
Thanks for entering
-
And so you die and die again. You capture a real beauty and darkness, a love layered and textured. There is passion here too, alive and electric -- a depth of feeling, too great for words, too deep for tears.
Excellent.
Garrison
-
electricity runs thru my veins and i'm a live wire -- its full of real passion, sensuality and sexuality
Adding your comment:
